When you first get together with a romantic partner, after
you’ve introduced them to family or friends, the first question from everyone
you encounter becomes “when are you getting married?” After you’re married, the
first question becomes when are you having kids? After your first child is
born, shortly after the placenta is delivered, the big question evolves into
“when are you having another one?” This process seems to continue until you
eventually become a grandparent.
Asking about someone’s potential reproductive plans is not
only nosy, it’s not a simple question as there are always myriad factors that
go into these decisions. When Mrs. Dude and I began talking about starting a
family, I wanted 3 kids (because I came from a family with 3 kids) and she
wanted 2 kids (you can probably guess why). We got married in our early 30s, became
parents a couple years later, and then again 3 years later, so time was not
working in our favor. But thoughts of “what if?” lingered in both my wife’s and
my mind after the Littler Dude was no longer so, um, little.
As our 40th birthdays approached, the
conversation continued, and we went back and forth on how we could potentially add
another child into the mix, if we could even get pregnant again, that is. Then
one day, I read something that helped solidify the plan for me. In a Facebook
group I belong to, someone mentioned that you don’t only have kids for
yourselves as parents, but it’s important to consider having kids for them to
have each other, as time passes and life evolves. Nine months later, give or
take, Little Miss Dude was born.
Beyond my prognostication that we were only ever going to
have boys, having baby #3 changed my mindset toward parenting. We were never
the type to sterilize the baby if they encountered a speck of dirt, so
laid-back parenting has always been our M.O. But it’s the knowledge gained via
almost 7 years of parenting experience when she was born that has made my
daughter a different type of gift. She was a gift for my wife and for me, but
also for her brothers, who at almost 7 and 4 when she was born couldn’t believe
how lucky they were to have another life to help shape.
From day one, which began early one Friday morning at 4:15am
with Mrs. Dude’s water breaking three weeks before her scheduled C-Section
date, Little Miss Dude has made the perfect punctuation for our family. Unlike
after our boys’ births, I was able to take paid paternity leave after she was
born, and the almost 10 weeks we spent together day in and out, helped lay the
foundation for our now complete quintet.
Now that her first year is 3 quarters over, I can’t imagine
life without this little girl, whose infectious smile helps her makes friends
in every grocery store line, restaurant and little league game she attends. I
know how lucky I am to have three wonderful children, even if they usually wake
up too early and are sometimes too picky with food. They are happy and healthy,
which helps me feel confident that they will live long healthy lives, as
wonderful children, siblings and hopefully parents themselves.
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We usually think about all that we are thankful for later in
the year, with turkey and pumpkin pie, but with Father’s Day upon us, I’ve
partnered with Life of Dad and Pampers to say #ThanksBaby for helping
complete my family.
I’m sure you have stories about your kids and what you are
thankful for, so please use the #ThanksBaby hashtag on Twitter, Instagram and
Facebook with a picture and a few words about what your little ones have done
for you.
Also, take a moment to check out this great video that
Pampers put together to honor all kinds of fathers on Father’s Day:
