A Mothers Day Correlation

In case you missed it, Mothers’ Day was Sunday and I have a little different perspective on it than I did last year.  In my post last year, I mentioned my mother and wife, but failed to mention one more important mother in my life, my grandmother (my mother’s mother). She had a tremendous influence on me growing up, and was the only grandparent I ever really knew. Sadly she passed away just 3 days after Mother’s Day last year and is certainly missed this year.

I still miss my mother, and that will likely never change, but now her spirit is back with us in a different way. It’s a Jewish custom to name a newborn after a deceased family member, which is supposed to cause some sort of metaphysical connection between two people whose lives never crossed. I know that sounds like something from an episode of LOST, but trust me, it’s a thing.  

When the Littler Dude was born last fall, he received the same initials that my mother had and they will now be forever linked.  And so far, after 7 months, he is showing signs of sharing some similar traits with his namesake. Here are a few:

·        Lack of sleep: My mother was never a very sound sleeper. Neither is the Littler Dude. That was rough for her and now continues for us. 

·         Love of family: My mother’s favorite thing in the world was being around her family, especially her kids and grandkids, even if they were getting rowdy. The Littler Dude loves being held and often doesn’t like when Mrs. Dude or I put him down for a break. Even if he is immediately smushed like a pancake by his older brother, the Little Dude.

·         Laughter: My mother was a big sitcom fan, as am I, and would frequently watch late-night reruns of classic shows she’d loved the first 20 times she’d seen them. The Littler Dude cackles hysterically when his big brother sings and dances for him, even if it’s the same made-up-on-the-spot song and dance for the 50^th time that day.

·         Appetite: My mother always made unique food combos for herself, like cold chicken for breakfast (one of her faves). The Littler Dude has yet to taste a food he doesn’t like, including Gerber puree classics like Chicken & Apples or Sweet Potatoes, Apples and Raisins (bleh).

·         Toughness: My mother faced health issues almost since birth and battled cancer with ever fiber of her being. The Littler Dude gets repeatedly squashed, rolled and folded in half by his older brother. Neither one of them complains about the adversity they’ve faced.

We have a long way to go, but so far the Littler Dude is living up to his namesake’s legacy. And with another Mother’s Day now passed, I am thankful to be able to spend it with the amazing mother of my children. Her patience with all three Dudes (both big and small) that she lives with is inexplicable, unrivaled and beyond appreciated.  Happy Mothers’ Day, Mrs. Dude!

Happy Mothers Day from the Dude family to you and yours!!

My Final Blog Post?

When I started this blog nearly two years ago, I was doing it to scratch an itch to write that captivated me during college and inspired my move to Los Angeles 12 years earlier. I really didn’t think anyone would ever read anything I wrote. Even the lovely Mrs. Dude rarely even reads my posts unless I specifically point one out to her. It’s not that she’s not interested, it’s because she’s busy. And so am I, which is both the reason I haven’t blogged much lately and also why I’m not sure if I will continue to do so for very much longer.

My first blog post was written when the Little Dude was 19 months old and still napped in 3 hour blocks every afternoon. He continued that pattern throughout my first year of blogging, which always gave me plenty of time to write about the hi-lar-ious things toddlers do. But last summer everything changed. First, we moved him from a crib to a big-boy bed. And second, his brother, the Littler Dude, was born.

At face value, I assumed that neither of those events would have much impact on my schedule but I couldn’t have been more wrong. When no longer bound to the spatial limitations and high walls of his beloved baby cage, the Little Dude deemed that naps were no longer necessary, much to the chagrin of his mother and me. But there was nothing we could do. We tried forcing the issue, but if he fell asleep it was for a very short time and we usually had to spend a longer period just trying to get him to go to sleep than the duration of the actual sleep. So we cut out naps and instituted an afternoon chill period, which usually consisted of watching Toy Story or Toy Story 2. Every freakin’ day. And as someone who is easily distracted, I have a hard time focusing with a lot of external noise nearby, even if it’s just Buzz and Woody, so I started writing at night after he went to bed. That time block was subsequently eradicated a month later when the Littler Dude arrived. Goodbye, blog.

In a Facebook post shortly before baby #2 arrived, I asked my page what to do to prepare for our new arrival. Beyond countless people urging me to sleep, sleep and sleep, a blogger friend named The Robot Mommy suggested I stockpile blog posts for when I had no time to write. I shrugged that off, telling myself that #2 was bound to be the good sleeper his brother was, so I’d have plenty of free time.  And the Littler Dude is a decent napper, but there is only one problem: his brother is still awake during those nap periods. And with energetic 3 ½ year old toddlers there is minimal downtime. I’m just thankful for the Pixar DVD catalog for some small respites it has brought me and Mrs. Dude over the last seven months.

So my struggle to find free time has definitely hindered my creative productivity. And I hate that. But I’ve been thinking a lot about a “chicken or egg” conundrum that has furthered my inactivity around these parts. The big question is: should I spend more time away from my kids to focus on my blog about parenting, or should I spend that time actually parenting my kids so that I have something to blog about even though I’ll subsequently have no time to write it?

I started this blog at a major crossroads in my life. My mother had recently passed away. I was just starting a promising job opportunity. I had started writing again after an extended break and inspiration grabbed me like a whirlwind and wouldn’t let go. Oh, and I had a spirited pre-toddler on my hands. Seemed like a Royal Flush, but now two years later I have a Full House and don’t know what to do.

That job didn’t turn out how I thought it would and now I have begun searching for a new opportunity. My blog has seen its share of ups and downs. I’ve had several exciting blogging opportunities come around, but haven’t hit the big time yet, not that I ever expected to. But I am responsible for 3 mouths to feed, beyond my own which is the lowest priority, and now must begin anew. Again. I have started putting out feelers again, but haven’t yet found that great job that will send me to Hawaii on a monthly basis to write about the quality of massages at luxury hotels. So now I have a greater conundrum on my hands. Do I spend my time focusing on raising my family and blogging about it or finding a better way to support this family, so that we can move onward and upward and finally begin living the life we’ve always wanted. Mrs. Dude and I have got the two great kids and our health and those are two remarkably lucky things. It’s just everything else that we now find ourselves searching for. Will I find it on my computer screen after another endless web search? Or might it be lurking in the satisfaction of helping the Little Dude learn to read?

In an ironic coincidence, as I was typing that last sentence and trying to think of a way to wrap this up, the Little Dude just arrived home from the park and excitedly ran in to see me, so my writing time is over for today. But one look at his smiling face makes it all worthwhile and reminds me why I do the things I do. All of them. I’ll be back soon to tell you more. . .

What would you do if put in my position? 

Know anyone looking for an experienced witty, handsome & creative person 
to join your awesome company's team?  Email me HERE

Rockin' Friday: I Got You

Today would have been the 80th birthday of the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. One of the greatest performers that Rock has ever witnessed, Brown was a trailblazer who combined Rock, Soul and R&B to create a totally original sound.

This week's Rockin' Friday tune is Brown's classic I Got You (I Feel Good). With its notable sax solo by the legendary Maceo Parker, this tune exemplified Brown's unique  Funk arrangements and simple but complex lyrics. A song about happiness caused by being in love. What could be easier than that? But Brown managed to mix it up and give it some real flavor.

I Got You was one of Brown's biggest "hits" of his career, reaching #3 on the charts in 1965. But Brown managed to build a great career without being a pop sensation. His shouts on this tune, and many of his others, influenced generations of soul, funk and hip-hop stars. And Eddie Murphy.

Here's a great live performance by James Brown, notable for both his incredible voice 

and even better glasses. Enjoy: 

What's your favorite James Brown tune?

My First Baby Shower

Much like Bachelorette parties and sorority hazing, the Baby Shower is a mysterious event that women partake in that men usually aren’t privy to.  And I’ll admit, we are a little curious. Just as most dudes know what really happens at Bachelor parties versus what they tell their wives, we have similar preconceived notions for what goes on at your events (i.e. nonstop pillow and/or tickle fights). Mrs. Dude opted against having Baby Showers during both of our pregnancies, so I had no idea what one really entailed until I attended my first one recently.

I always assumed baby showers consisted of a group of women sitting around, eating salads then cake followed by long talks about baby names, lactation and episiotomies. And honestly, beyond the cake, none of those subjects is of particular interest to me. However when I was invited to the Big City Moms’ recent local “Biggest Baby Shower” event, I figured I should go see if all my preconceived notions were accurate. As it turned out, I wasn’t too far off base.

The line waiting to get inside. 

Held at a beautiful classic building in Hollywood, the Biggest Baby Shower was a massive event for both expecting parents and those with newborns. Having a 6-month-old but no uterus, I wondered how much of the event would be applicable to me and I will admit that I was pleasantly surprised.

While I didn’t hear any discussions of episiotomies (thankfully), there was quite a bit of talk of other changes that women’s bodies undergo both during and after childbirth.  One of the first brands I encountered, Belly Bandit, makes cool looking undergarments designed to help the body regain its pre-pregnancy shape. I was very excited, then quickly disappointed when I learned that their products are only recommended for women, since I still have an extra 10 lbs to drop since the Littler Dude arrived.

There were a plethora of stroller and car seat manufacturers from exotic locations like Europe, Asia and Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Before my first son was born, I was baffled by the myriad options available among the vast stroller displays I encountered. Surprisingly the pimply-faced kid at Babies R Us wasn’t tremendously helpful either. Shocking, right? I wish Mrs. Dude and I had an event like this to attend where we could learn about cool new designs, features and functions before making our decision. Before I was a parent, you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to understand the purpose of a Snap & Go and why we needed one. I saw many similarly lost Dudes at this event, standing beside ready-to-burst significant others, learning from the pros brought in from around the globe by brands like Britax, Peg Perego, Baby Jogger and several more that I never knew existed.

I was amazed how many companies make luxurious potions to help reduce stretch marks and chaffed-nipples. Thankfully, the brand reps correctly assumed I didn’t need either. Whew.

My kids love this stuff. 

With the ultra-picky Little Dude and the ultra-hungry Littler Dude, I checked out some great Organic food options from companies like NurturMe, Happy Family & Ella’s Kitchen. They each have unique health benefits for infants through toddlers by combining the best fruits and vegetables into combos you’d never expect, like Rutabaga, Cherries and Celery. I brought home several samples for both of my boys and every one has been a big hit, leading to a higher success rate than Prince Harry at a singles bar. After learning about those nutritious organic brands, I gorged myself on mini cupcakes from nearby booths for Sprinkles and Georgetown Cupcakes. I believe that’s what is known as a balanced diet.  

Don't worry, I left a couple for someone else to enjoy. 

I met a cool new mother who created an ingenious product called Zippyz. Designed for everyone who has ever struggled to change a newborn’s diaper in the dark or while they’re sleeping: pajamas that zip only halfway up, making it infinitely easier to unzip, change the diaper and re-zip. People like me who often struggle with the unbelievably tricky matrix-style snap-up pajamas will certainly appreciate this great idea. I only wish they made them in my size.

I met bottle manufacturers and myriad must-have baby accessory companies. Coincidentally, all of them have the best products on the market. There was at least one that I could verify: Summer, who makes the multi-camera video monitor system that helps me ensure that both of my boys are snoring in tandem every night.

The Biggest Baby Shower was great for several reasons. First, I finally learned that I’m not missing anything when my wife attends baby showers beside great cupcakes. And second, the event really opened my eyes as to how many unique baby products exist. I just wish this event had occurred about 6 months earlier, before the Littler Dude joined our clan. And that the Belly Bandit would work on me. 

On my way out of the event, I received a ginormous gift bag filled with products from some great baby product companies:

The Littler Dude is obsessed with this
Double Decker bus by Mamas and Papas
from the gift bag

Oh, did I mention that I won a Britax stroller, too?

My moment of fame on the red carpet.
No autographs, please.

Yes, I think baby showers are pretty cool after all. Even if one must endure extensive discussion about, um, chafing  there's always cupcakes. 

Thanks to Big City Moms for inviting me to the Biggest Baby Shower event. Though they let me in the door at no charge, the opinions expressed within this post are completely mine. For better or worse. Check out their website for upcoming events in your area. Seriously, check it out. 

What do you think about Baby Showers in general?

Leave a comment below

Two-Line Tuesday: Swingers

"C'mon, little brother, let's go!"

"Now what am I supposed to be doing again?"

How would you caption this picture?

Two-Line Tuesday: Slinky

Whoa, what is this thing?

And why is it so cool to look at?

How would you caption this photo?

Bonding

It’s early. An hour at which no one should be awake and moving except paperboys and roosters. I’m lying in a small bed with my 3 year old Little Dude and the invisible flu bug he brought home from preschool, which he kindly and unintentionally shared with me.

He's tired, hot and achy but doesn't know how to express what his body is feeling. Facing each other, I notice he’s grasping one of his beloved Hot Wheels tightly in each hand. For strength or comfort, they are with him. As am I. I subtly turn on the white noise machine again, hoping it will coax a few more minutes of sleep out of him for his weary body. And mine, as well. I’ve gotten used to running on empty, but doing so while fighting off illness is a different battle. Another hour of sleep right now would be better than winning the lottery. And I could really use the money.

As the sound of artificial waves crashing upon a distant artificial beach repeats, I pick up my iPhone and sigh as I look at the ridiculously low numbers its clock is displaying.  It's so early that my friends 3 hours ahead on the East Coast haven’t yet begun sharing their pictures of omelets or tales of getting stuck in traffic on Facebook to entertain me.

Resting our stuffy heads on fluffy adjoining pillows, I hope that the source of the flu was at least fun for him while being an evil conduit. Was it the swings on the playground or the school’s lunchroom? Or the grocery store cart’s handle?  We’ll never know.

Though I hope for more rest, as I was just up feeding his newborn brother an hour ago, I know it's unlikely any time in the foreseeable future. As my eyelids bounce heavily, simultaneously trying to sleep and stay awake, I feel something rolling up slowly up my neck like a tarantula in a bad horror movie would. Thankfully it’s only a Hot Wheels monster truck cruising before parking on my congested scalp.

I put down my iPhone, as it needs rest too, and watch my son. He looks at me as we cough together.

This is bonding.