Monday, October 17, 2011

Small World? Yeah Right

A friend recently gave us tickets to take BC to Disneyland for the first time.  My wife had been very excited about his first time and wanted to make it special. As a SoCal native, going to Disneyland was an almost-annual rite of passage to her while growing up.  This trip would mark my third time there over the course of more than 3 decades.  I was happy to go, but I was more excited to not have to blow $200 just to walk in the front gate. 

The tickets we received were for a special Halloween event at the park.  I wouldn’t realize how fortuitous that was until later, though. But before we got to the good stuff there was a long road ahead.  Our tickets didn’t allow us to enter prior to 3:00pm, and the festivities began at 6:00pm. The catch was that BC usually naps in the afternoon from roughly 2:00-5:00pm.  We faced an interesting conundrum. If we waited until after his nap to leave our house we wouldn’t arrive at the Magic Kingdom until at least 7:00pm, which wouldn’t leave much time for the park.  But if we didn’t give BC a chance to nap, it was possible he might turn into Regan from The Exorcist.  

We took a leap of faith and left the house during what would have been BC’s naptime, hoping he would sleep during the 60 mile drive. He was about to fall asleep after 15 minutes when some putz cut us off, forcing me to slam on the brakes, which jolted BC back to life like Elmo on Meth.  Sigh. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day.  He finally fell asleep for the last half hour before we arrived in Anaheim.

When we parked and got out of the car, we were in an unfamiliar place.  And I don’t mean the parking garage the size of New Hampshire.  BC had taken the short road to Crankyville. Uh oh.  Would that short nap end up biting us in the Goofy? Only time would tell. 


Time spoke quickly. When we got on the tram to the park there was one child who stood out among all the kids on the train, screaming his brains out. Yup, my kid was “That Kid”.  I was put in an unfamiliar situation  because I’m usually the first person to give That Kid’s parents dirty looks while they scream in a restaurant or mall.  There was only one thing I could do in this scenario. Pull down my hat and hide. And try to spot another “That Kid” whose parents I could berate with my eyes.

My last visit to Disneyville was for SS’s birthday 8 years ago. She’d been there countless times so I let her lead the way.  We headed straight for It’s a Small World.  Once we sat in our little boat, BC’s eyes seemed to light up as he assessed his surroundings.  Suddenly we began to move as the song began to play over and over. And over and over.  The world didn’t seem so small after listening to that song for 15 minutes.  After I minute or two though, I had déjà vu of having been there before. My mother took us to Disneyland when I was a toddler and as I sat with my son in my lap, I flashed back to the moment I first rode that ride.  So much seemed familiar, and not just the song, though I don’t remember seeing Woody from “Toy Story”  there the first time around, circa 1979. Not sure why though.  


Since BC is still a little Dude our selection of rides was somewhat limited. We took him on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Alice in Wonderland and a few others.  The principle is pretty much the same for all: Get in a too-small vehicle for our group, get jerked around in the dark, see some scary looking creatures in bright colorful outfits and exit leaving semi-nauseated.  Sort of reminded me of prom night.

One cool thing about the Halloween event was that they had trick or treat stations scattered around the park.  I expected it to be a crappy mix of apples and pennies, so I was pleasantly surprised when it was the real deal.  And they weren’t stingy. But for some reason I kept getting the repulsive Almond Joy, until I started saying “Twix or Treat” to the workers.  Each station also had a healthy option for kids, like Craisins or carrots.  Because that’s what kids really want.  

As we waited in lines throughout the park I felt something I hadn’t felt in years. No, not joy.  Thin. If you ever want to feel good about your body image, go to Disneyland. Unless you are the size of Dumbo, there are thousands of people there who will make you feel svelte. I kept looking for Jillian Michaels & Bob Harper because it seemed like I was at a tryout for The Biggest Loser. 


As the evening progressed, we were having a great time. Other than his overtired outburst on the tram, BC was perfect all afternoon. And he was rewarded accordingly. Of his own volition. It only took BC 4 seconds to grab & unwrap a Banana Tootsie Pop from our Treat bag, though it took him half an hour to devour it and drip slimy banana goop all over his shirt.  

On our way out, we wanted BC to have a memento of the day, so we sought a pair of Mickey ears. After locating and trying them on, we settled on the adult size which was a hair too big for his melon and curls. Since he’s almost 2, I bet he’ll grow into it. Or we can just let his ‘fro expand accordingly.  

All in all, it was a fantastic day. We were able to crank through the park in 5 hours and avoided traffic both ways. And most importantly, BC had a blast. Actually, most importantly, BC fell asleep on the way home and slept till 8:00 the next morning.  And I figure that based on my established pace, I’ll look forward to going back to Disneyland sometime around 2033.


Thanks for reading The Dude of the House! Tell your friends... 

--JJ aka The Dude of the House





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17 comments:

  1. We have been to Disney way more than the average person and my kids live it everytime. We har never worried about nap schedules or even eating times. Sure the kids will get cranky but they'll fall asleep when they fall asleep. Throw the schedules out when you head there. I never understood the people that interrupted their day to head back to a hotel to nap... Isn't that what a stroller is for? I digress. Anyway glad you had fun... We are headed to Disney World in two weeks!

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    1. Yeah, I don't understand leaving for naptime either. The kid should be excited enough to be there that he/she can skip the rest for an afternoon!

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  2. Oh and I think there are more screaming, crying, and exhausted kids LEAVING Disney than any place in earth.

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  3. I live up in New England (New Hampshire to be exact - it's bigger than a parking garage, btw) and have never been to either of the Disney parks. We do have a smallish park just south of where I live and we take the kids there every few years. Luckily, they're a bit older than BC so we don't have to worry about nap times. (Though I do still have to put up with the crappy kiddie rides).

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    1. Bigger than a 2 car garage? My SIL lived in Vermont for a while. Pretty small area.

      I think no matter the kids' ages, those places are no fun for parents.

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  4. We've all been THAT parent some time or another. Some of us more than others....LOL

    Glad you sort of enjoyed DisneyLand :D

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    1. Don't get me wrong, I could have been forced to go to a much worse place than Disneyland. Like one of those indoor Germ-boree type places where every plaything has been sneezed on more than a Puffs factory.

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  5. My kids have never been to Disney - and my husband and I have only each been once in our lives. I don't understand the people who manage to go every year, but I suppose they live closer and have more money than we do :) I'm glad he ended up having a great time - that certainly makes these kind of things worth it!

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    1. I don't understand that either. I only live 50 or so miles away, but that can be up to 3 hours with LA traffic. Not sure when we'll be back again.

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  6. That parking garage IS bigger than New Hampshire. It IS! Glad it all turned out great! We went during the Halloween madness and it was more 'challenging' for our family...but still TONS of fun :) And free tickets? Super score! Too bad it didn't include the $8 slice of pizza and $4 bottle of water ;-)

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    1. My kid is a super-picky eater so the only food we had to buy was for my wife and myself. And that cost a pittance compared to what we saved with the (wonderful) comp tix.

      What types of challenges did you face? Or just b/c you have 4 kids?

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  7. Great post dude. Seriously. You nailed it!!!!

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  8. I'm definitely stealing "biting us in the Goofy" - hope you don't mind! We have yet to do any version of a Disney excursion. We are in the mid-west so a trip to the Mouse ears house is a big event. But like you said for planning around naps, it's always going to be something and soon that something will be they're too old to want to go with us!

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    1. That's one of my favorite lines in the post, too, and no one has ever commented on it until now.

      When big events occur, you just have to let it be and hope that the kids are interested enough to not realize they are tired. Then hopefully they'll crash when you get home/back to hotel.

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  9. I also grew up in Southern California, and Disneyland is my second home. We're in Nor Cal now and don't get there very often. When my kids were growing up we went every other year, and I managed to instill the love of the magic in my daughter too. Now that the grandkids are coming along, we've starting to make more frequent trips again. I'm taking our 5 year old Princess in about 2 weeks!

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    1. I can't imagine going again any time soon, but I am sure it will be less than the 25 years between 1st and 2nd visits that I had for my son.

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