Monday, August 15, 2011

Ex Takes the Plunge

While doing some important research online, (I mean trolling on Facebook), I saw that my last ex-girlfriend who I dated prior to meeting my wife got married recently.  No, I definitely do not still have feelings for her. We dated for a while, but broke up shortly after the passing of Jam Master Jay. There is still no proof that our breakup was connected to his still unsolved slaying.  

So, what’s the proper protocol for handling my ex's milestone?

  • No response. The easiest thing to do would be to ignore the situation. After all, our only connection anymore is via Facebook.  And that connection is virtually non-existent, as she rarely posts anything. That being said, she posted several annoying status updates about how wonderful her honeymoon was, so I feel somewhat involved.
  • Send her a private FB message of congratulations. And make sure to reinforce that I’ve been married for 4 years, so she obviously had a much harder time getting over me than I did over her.
  • Write on her wall and ask where my invitation was. It’s only fair, as I am partly responsible for them getting married. No, I don’t know the guy she got hitched to, but if I had married her (which was not in the cards for us) he wouldn’t have had the chance.  So he sort of owes me now. 
  • Make snide remarks about her husband in the comments section below their wedding pics on FB.  I saw a couple pics. The guy wore Converse All-Stars with his tux. Enough said.  
  • Post an old pic of the two of us and tag her with a caption that says “Just thinking of you” or "Good Times...". Actually, this might cause me more problems than anything. Scratch that.   

At the end of the day, I think I’ll just leave well enough alone.  Just writing this post will probably make some of you think I still pine for her. Believe me, I don’t.  If it weren’t for the magic of Facebook, I wouldn’t know anything about her current life.  But, she’s the one who Friended me.  I bet she still harbors feelings…  

Thanks for reading! Your comments are appreciated.  Tell your friends...
--JJ aka The Dude of the House

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  1. Gotta love Facebook........although you probably don't play the " prettier than her" game.

  2. I wouldn't touch that one with a 10 foot pole.

    Thanks for reading!


  3. You have been married for 4 years and have a child. You clearly won the exes race and she knows it. No comment necessary.

  4. I just recently had an ex find me on Facebook. Didn't accept his friend request because I knew hubby wouldn't like. If he tables were turned, I wouldn't like it either :P

    I know what you mean about ex's though. Facebook has this wonderful (not) way of bringing the past into the present :)

    1. You never know who might see what, so it's a slippery slope. That being said, if you want to rub something in, it's the perfect place!

  5. Very funny and right-on. I think you made the right decision (and the poor girl was clearly settling for second-best.)

  6. Facebook is so dangerous for this kind of stuff. I generally opt for "say nothing", so much safer and happier for all. This was a great post, stupid exes :)

    Anna -

    1. Thanks, Anna. I did opt to skip the reply. Rather I'll let her see the pics of my kid on FB while she posts her dog pics.