Monday, May 21, 2012

Are You Husband Enough?

Given the recent controversy spawned by TIME magazine’s sensationalistic cover story “Are You Mom Enough?” there has been a lot of public discourse on the merits of the cover photo. Perhaps even more than the article itself, which most pundits have claimed to have not read. Since I fit that criteria, I thought I’d chime in with my list of “10 Things Husbands Should Do”, or “Are You Husband Enough?”.  I realize that not all husbands are fathers and not all fathers are husbands, but I am both so here’s my list.  

10 Things Husbands Should Do

1)      Support their Spouses: In traditional contexts, this meant financially. Period. But it today’s society it means so much more. It means staying home with the kids while wives work. It means grocery shopping. It means a lot of things that would make Ward Cleaver roll over in his grave. But this is the year 2012 and as Bob Dylan said, “The Times, They Are A-Changing”.  

2)      Cooking: It may not be Wolfgang Puck quality, but as long as it’s better than Ronald McDonald makes, it’s probably good enough for at least once a week.

3)      Fix Stuff:  I’m Jewish, so I take a flier on this one. But on every TV show, it seems like the thing that husbands do. I’ll take their word for it.

4)      Negotiate Car Deals: We just need to coordinate that our wives wear appropriately low-cut tops while we do so. If car salesmen can play games with no rules, why can’t we?

5)      Hold Their Hands During Childbirth: We may be looking the other direction, and possibly checking game scores frantically texting relatives on our iPhones at the time, but we’ll be there.

6)      Share in childcare fun: Both parents should be able and willing to give their kids baths and change their diapers. For if they don’t, who knows how the reciprocity will work in 50 years?

7)      Kill Bugs: They might be big and nasty looking but it is our sworn responsibility to slaughter the creepy-crawlies that the Mrs. discovers crawling on the ceiling, inevitably just as you are about to go to bed. Otherwise she will be convinced that the almost-invisible-to-the-naked-eye arachnid she just spotted will leap from above to take a giant munch out of her neck like Dracula. (Note:  husbands are sometimes reluctant to do this in hopes that it’s the spider that bit Peter Parker and we may soon acquire Spidey Senses.)  

8)      Remember important dates: If you can’t remember your wife’s birthday, your anniversary or other key dates, you are an idiot.

9)      Be willing to alternate preferred entertainment with spouse’s:  I may sit through an awful romantic comedy every so often, but I will not be afraid to play Words With Friends while doing so.  

10)   Communicate: You may not always be together due to work or other commitments, so even when you can’t be there, be there. I have three different ways to videoconference with my wife on my iPhone. I think it can even make phone calls, too. Plus texting, email, etc. Just saying hello can sometimes make both your days. Especially if you are standing outside a strip club at the time away on business while she’s home with the kids.



read to be read at yeahwrite.me




111 comments:

  1. Great post! You will definitely win brownie points for this one among us women :)

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  2. If a husband can't remember his wife's birthday or anniversary, I think it's quite appropriate that his wife can't remember how to spread her legs next time he wants a roll in the hay.

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  3. Thanks for the dude's perspective on this.

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  4. #11 Teach your kids to follow this list.

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  5. Thanks Dude, this is a great list. Now, to get my husband to cook more than twice a year. Hmmm, any suggestions or tips on that one?

    www.2smart4.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks, 2S! Maybe you should offer him some tempting, um, dessert?

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    2. You never know what might work. Perhaps actual dessert might work better :)

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    3. That depends on how many anniversaries the couple had. Actual dessert is preferred with us oldies :)

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    4. LOL, that's a great point, Stasha...

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  6. One smart dude. And apparently you Jews aren't the only one who source out handiwork, my Catholic hub was quick to find an electrician, painter, plumber, and handyman when we purchased our first house.

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    1. Thanks, Jackie. Good to know I'm not alone out there.

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  7. Car deals and bugs are a must. I sometimes find car dealers are often like bugs, and I'm happy that I have a hubby willing to deal with 'em!

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  8. Brilliant--I love it! I don't know if I only speak for myself when I say that after following that list, I wouldn't care WHERE he was standing...strip CLUB or strip MALL...if he is making me dinner that doesn't come out of a can once a week, he can go wherever he wants!

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    1. Thanks, Nika! Does dinner from a box count?

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  9. Man, reading through these "husbands should" posts, I'm starting to feel like I have the short end of the stick as the bug removal person. I also have to deal with all things furry (including bats) and scaly. Is there not another female out there who is on varmint duty?
    Nice list. Ellen

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    1. Thanks, Ellen :)

      Perhaps you should get him some Raid for Father's Day.

      We have a bat problem now. Want to come over?

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  10. Ah fantastic list! And husbands should DEFINITELY negotiate car deals :) but then again at my house the cars are usually for him anyways!

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    1. Does he at least let you ride in them, Audrey?

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  11. I think I really let my husband down the die I screamed and made him kill a bug. And here I'd put all this effort into convincing I was some kind of cool Lara Croft/Donna Reed cross. poor guy. good thing I had some meat for the bbq to distract him.
    whew - close one!

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    1. RB, that happens sometimes. What can you do?
      Nice misdirection with the meat.

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  12. Yes Yes Yes....men should do all of these things for sure. Great list dude, I'm making Husband read it right now....

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  13. So true, especially about bugs. I cannot sleep if I see one and it remains alive. Sometimes my husband has to search the room long after bedtime...

    lol.

    Funny post.

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    1. Thanks, Carrie. Perhaps you should get him an extra-long swatter for his birthday.

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  14. I especially agree with your #10. It always makes it better when my husband and I talk on the phone or email each other during the work day. Great list!

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    1. Thanks, RS. Communication is pretty important.

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  15. You the man!!! Love this list. You are clearly a wise man and a good listener. And my I ad to #8: or don't know how to download an app :)

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    1. Stasha, if anyone over the age of 5 can't download an app, they have serious issues.

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  16. Oh you definitely sound like an Awesome Man of the House. Love this. Your job is absolutely to kill bugs. And in return you get hugs :)

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  17. I was being glib but you are so right. I want to print this out and use it as an Information Brochure for the next man I date. Communication is everything.

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  18. Well, I got 1,5,& 10. The damn hospital has him the rest of the time.
    I'll be sharing this list with him for sure!!!

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  19. Hmmm, sounds like good advice to me!

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    1. I think it holds true for boyfriends, too, Gia.

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  20. love this list! wise words, wise words :)

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    1. Thanks, Tara. You are a wise woman so I appreciate that.

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  21. Great list! I especially love Nos. 6 & 7.

    Spiders must die. ;)

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    1. Both very important, Katie! Spiders suck.

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  22. We share the roles really well in our house, thankfully childbirth is behind us.

    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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    1. Sharing is caring. I think I read that somewhere.

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  23. Fix Stuff: I’m Jewish, so I take a flier on this one. Hahaha!! Oh my gosh YES!!!!

    ~The G is Silent

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  24. DUUUUUUUDE! I was totally stoked by your list. So what if you're outside a strip club? At least you called:) HA!

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  25. When it comes right down to it number 10 is all that matters. Be There. Be there without being asked to be there. Just be there.

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    1. That's why it's the last one on the list :)

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  26. Great list! It can fit wife or husband.

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    1. Most of them can definitely go either way. But men need the benefit of the doubt.

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  27. Negotiate car deals and kill bugs are an absolute must! Can we also add cleaning to the list?

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  28. Absolutely awesome ... and most arachnids I want taken care of are miniscule ... but they still need to be taken care of lol ...

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    1. Thanks, LL. That's why there are exterminators...and husbands.

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  29. In reference to #3, I am MOT as well and I can fix plenty. Used to work as a project manager as a contractor. You can do those things too, just need to learn how. ;)

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    1. Jack, that gives me hope. Can you please send your phone number for the next time I need something fixed? :)

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    1. Nice, let me know if you get any good feedback :)

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  31. I am so glad you didn't say "babysit." It is annoying to hear a father say he is going babysit his kids. It is called parenting not babysitting. You sound like a very good husband!

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    1. Thanks, Cathy. If someone feels they are "babysitting" their own kids, they are most likely in the same category as #8.

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  32. Funny... I like it. Though I see your spider killing got a big thumbs up. Spiders may be hideous but they do good things in the world. Maybe just capture them and place them carefully outside. I know, people have already told me I'm a freak about animals and bugs. No. 10 was hilarious! Well done. But next time, save the spider!

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    1. Thanks, Stephanie. I used to squash every bug I'd see out and about, but then a little kid pointed out to me that I shouldn't so I've stopped. But if it's in my bedroom or bathroom, that sucker is most likely going to die.

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  33. well-played. my husband once sat in a car dealers office and just stared - stared at him - until he agreed to our price. it might have been that moment that i forgave him for never, once, ever, making our bed.

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    1. That is definitely an interesting tactic. And if it worked, more power to ya! I'd say he earned a pass on the bed making.

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  34. Great list. Had a few chuckles while reading! #6 is good, and I'm thankful that hubby steps up for this one! #10 is key and could be slotted in to slots 11 - 20 if you were to expand this list!! Any thoughts on how I move my hubby into this century & have him communicate in alternate forms besides F2F? He's a little behind on this one!
    www.journeyto42.blogspot.ca

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    1. Try texting him to set up a Skype videoconference. Make sure to email him the agenda beforehand, though.

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  35. Ha! Number 6 is all-time favorite. "Both parents should be able and willing to give their kids baths and change their diapers. For if they don’t, who knows how the reciprocity will work in 50 years?"

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  36. Replies
    1. Thanks, Adrienne! Glad you liked. Which was your favorite?

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  37. Maybe you should submit your piece to Time magazine! Big points for odd jobs around the house, too, like cleaning out the stove and the fridge! Men today don't get enough credit! We women are always dissing our our hubbies, but we do it with love!

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    1. Good call, Lisa. I recently scrubbed our shower clean. I think I blew out a shoulder in the process, but everyone seemed happier afterward.

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  38. I love this list!!!! I'm going to print it off for my husband ;)

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    1. Thanks, Kristen! Let me know what he says.

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  39. Great list! My husband fixes everything and kills stuff that terrifies me and he has earned my everlasting devotion for doing so!

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    1. That's what it's all about, Louise. Sounds like you found a good one...

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  40. Awesome! And yes, Words with Friends is a good way to make the movie choice friendly for everyone ;) thanks for this post!

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    1. Thanks, Meredith. Want to play a game? My wife wants to watch a Reese Witherspoon movie.

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  41. My husband is cooking dinner right now as I ... umm .. NETWORK. Yes. That's what I'm doing at Find the Funny!!

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    1. That is great teamwork! Glad to have you here, JQ :)

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  42. fellow blog hopper
    http://joni-holt.blogspot.com/

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  43. Hey, great list, but I think you could have added one thing: "Help around the house". My husband is actually great at this. He's a better cleaner than I--partially due to his military background and partially due to his OCD. Our joke is that I'll fix the toilet, he'll clean it. And speaking of fixing things...why do you "take a flier" because you're Jewish?? Jesus was a carpenter, Dude. Ya know what I'm saying?

    Confessions of a (Not-so)-Super Mom
    not-so-super-mom.blogspot.com

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    1. Cleaning is usually more in my wheelhouse anyway, but that is a great addition to the list.

      Cleaning I can handle, fixing, not so much.

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  44. Love this. "Dealing with" bugs and spiders is way more important than people might think. I don't think I give my husband enough credit when it comes to his contribution in this area. Following you from the TGIF Blog Hop. Looking forward to reading more. :)
    -Laura
    www.strollerparkingonly.com

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    1. Glad to have you, Laura. Come back soon.
      And give your husband more creature-related credit!

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  45. Ugh..I'm with Laura! Hubs is my spider killing hero!! I look forward to reading along!
    Following along from the Blog Hop

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  46. Hahaha LOVE this, I'm going to print it out put it on my husbands desk! Stopping by from the blog hop! Am now a new blog and FB follower:) Would love if you could follow me back!

    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846

    https://twitter.com/LoveMyMamaDrama

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    1. Welcome, Brooke! Just followed you back.

      What did your husband think of this post?

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  47. I'm sure a lot of women will love this post. I sure do! :)

    Found you in bloghop and now following you via GFC!

    Jen
    http://whyyyjen.blogspot.com

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  48. My husband will do all of those things EXCEPT kill bugs. He is terrified of them and will gladly run away from them. Good thing I have a son who loves insects and never minds catching one and releasing it outside! New follower from the TGIF hop!

    Emily
    http://birthofamom.blogspot.com

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