Thursday, December 1, 2011

Poo on You

When I went in to BC’s room this morning to get him out of his crib, he was playing with the toys in his bed and having a good time. Suddenly he looked up at me, then pointed down to his central diaper region and made a proud declaration: “POO!”

Since we haven’t officially begun potty training him, I took it as a good sign. According to research, kids are usually ready to begin the potty training process sometime between 24-36 months. Since BC just turned 2 it’s probably time for us to start preparing for the fun.  I think the first step is I’m supposed to save my newspapers and line the floor of the house with them, right?  Obviously I’m kidding.  Who gets the newspaper anymore?

We got BC one of those little plastic training toilets a few months ago after a friend suggested it and put it in the bathroom next to my Big Boy potty.  This placement was supposed to subliminally teach the Little Dude what the potty is intended for. Unfortunately the main thing he seems to think it’s used for is a place to lounge while unspooling rolls of toilet paper.  

Our son’s pediatrician said my wife and I should leave the door open to let BC watch us go to the bathroom so he can see what all the hype is about. It seems strange that I’m supposed to talk the bathroom up to him as though it’s a great place, like Disneyland or something.  Then I lead him into a place with a grimy commode, a wet floor and some weird green stuff lingering on the sink.  Seems more like Magic Mountain to me.

When we are in a public place I usually take BC with me to the bathroom because I don’t feel comfortable leaving him with the weird old man who greets people at the store entrance. What inevitably ends up happening is I try to keep my balance and complete my mission while he simultaneously watches me and plays a game of chicken with his finger and the nearby urinal cake.

Before a recent trip, my wife went to buy some overnight diapers.  Apparently the store had run out of our usual brand so she got some pull-up style overnight diapers.  Since we were leaving the next day, we had no other option.  At least they had Lightning McQueen on them. Whatever that is.

The pull-ups worked out fine, especially since BC now refuses to lie down while being changed. I guess when your body is longer than your changing table, you can elect that option.  These days he generally wiggles and dances while being changed and I end up pulling the flaps on his diaper shut, hoping I got full coverage on both essential regions and praying for no whammies. 


So back to this morning, I was happy that he was able to convey his crucial message and hoped he hadn’t slept in it for too long, causing a mess and making him resemble Augustus Gloop after he’d fallen in the chocolate river. 


I was still half asleep when I opened his diaper to find that it was wet, but that was the only damage done.  So I looked at him and inquired about his apparently false claim. He looked back at me and reiterated forcefully “Pooh! Pooh!”  So I figured he was just being the boy who cried wolf and so I told him that the next time he said “Poo!” and didn’t possess any, I’d make him sit in it for a while as a lesson.

Then as I got him dressed and looked down at his used diaper waiting to be thrown out, it suddenly hit me. No, not the smell.  The image of Winnie the Pooh lounging next to his pal Tigger on BC’s used Huggie. Not pictured: me with egg on my face.





Thanks for reading The Dude of the House! Tell your friends... 

--JJ aka The Dude of the House




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51 comments:

  1. Better to have pooh diapers than say Dick Tracy ones huh.

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    1. You are 400% right. That would even raunchier. I do think it's pretty ironic that Winnie is on Huggies diapers, though.

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  2. Kids will put a cha-grin on your face any day of the week! Great post.

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    1. And just as easily take it away with what's in their diapers...

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  3. I'm thinking there's a market for nappies with a picture of a a pooh on the back and a yellow puddle on the front...

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    1. I had to look up "nappies"! But that's a great idea! I think you should make those.

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  4. Thanks, I needed a good laugh today. =)

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    1. Whoever you are, I'm glad you liked it. You made my day! Thanks for reading. Would love to know who you are. Send me an email if you are up to it. Thanks.

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  5. Ahh, the wealth of writing opportunities embedded in the Poo/Pooh years. Funny stuff.

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    1. Thanks, I've learned that you can always have a lot of fun with Pooh. Not as much with poo.

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  6. HA! Easy mistake. My 2 year old nephew is completely potty trained at preschool, but when he comes home, it's back to diapers. My sister is a complete loss. I'm going to have to tell her your Pooh story. She'll get a kick out of it.

    Great post! I was cracking up especially with the toilet paper unraveling line...hehe!

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    1. Thanks, Katie. That is an interesting game that your nephew plays. I believe it's called "Torture the Parent".

      Please tell your sis to come check out my story. Sounds like she'll totally relate.

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  7. Too funny, and great photos. Speaking as a mama of a ten- and twelve-year-old, you're about to turn a big corner, dude!

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    1. Thanks, Louise. Every day, actually every hour, brings something new. It gets better all the time.

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  8. SAME THING happened in my house. Same thing!

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    1. Jamie, That is hilarious. I guess our kids are on the same wavelength.

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  9. Lol, We've had similar miscommuncations in our house too..with kids there's def never a dull moment :)

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    1. That is very true! Life is like a box of...oh, forget it.

      BTW,sorry for the delayed reply. This got flagged for some reason.

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  10. Aww. But you figured it out! If it were my husband or me, we'd have figured it out, too - about a year later. (slap on forehead) Cute post.

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    1. Thanks, Laura. I bet you would have figured it out a little sooner than that.

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  11. My theory is that the only reason Winnie is on diapers is because of the Pooh.

    The manufacturers are secretly cackling at this, I'm sure.

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    1. It's a very calculated move by Huggies to utilize Winnie. Their marketing chief must be Captain Obvious.

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  12. Hahahahaha!!!! Here I was thinking he was trying to tell you he had to poo. Hilarious!!! Great post.

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    1. Thanks, Kim. That wasn't until shortly after I changed him, naturally.

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  13. Did you notice the "piston cup" when he wet the Lightning McQueen pull-up? :-) Welcome to the fun of potty training! Awesome post!

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    1. It's been quite a trip. Can't fathom what the hardcore training will be like. Thanks, Stacey.

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  14. First of all---LOVE the parental blog from a Daddy's point of view. FANTASTIC. Secondly---BC are my husband's initials, so I immediately felt drawn to your story. Thirdly---laughing out loud at the discovery of the playful bear and NOT the dreaded deuce in the drawers. All around fantastic post! :)

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    1. Thanks, Abby. Very kind words. I talk about BC a lot, so I hope you'll check out some more of my blog. You, and your husband, will dig it.

      Love your alliteration of the "dreaded deuce in the drawers".
      Thanks for your kind words.

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  15. I thought for sure this was going to end with finding poop somewhere you didn't want to! Great post! LOVE LOVE LOVE the analogies! Keep 'em comin'!

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    1. Thanks Sara! A good analogy is like a good milkshake. Hard to find, but worth the wait. Thanks for reading DOTH!

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  16. Seems like Team Poo or is it Pooh, is working great for you!

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  17. when i first started reading this i was afraid, and had a few flashbacks to being pooped on or at by my toddler. i'm relieved for you and myself that there was no poop!! lol
    loved it!

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    1. Fortunately everyone was safe and clean. Thanks for reading!

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  18. Total surprise ending - of all the possible scenarios - this was NOT one I saw coming!

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

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    1. Thanks, Anna. Glad to be a part of your great linkup!

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  19. I just love this story! I love the surprise ending :)

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  20. That cracks me up! That is awesome. So glad you linked this up with us over at #findingthefunny last week!

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    1. Thanks, Kelley! Trying to figure out what to post next...

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  21. Great Blog! I am a new follower. www.discoverytoysmom.com

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  22. Hi there! I'm following you from the TGIF blog hop. Loved reading your blog and looking forward to more! Would appreciate the follow back!
    Have a great weekend!

    -Kat

    http://mom-uncensored.blogspot.com

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  23. So funny!! Ahhh the wonder of poo and parenting! Stopping by from the blog hop! Am now a new follower:) Would love if you could follow me back!

    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846

    https://twitter.com/LoveMyMamaDrama

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  24. This made me giggle. Especially since PITA is starting to pee in the pot every once in a blue moon. Potty training is great, but I am always afraid of what I am going to find! 5th times a charm, right??? Thanks for coming over again, it wouldn't be the same without you!!

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    1. We are just getting into the pre-training stuff now. Makes me VERY nervous. Any advice?

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  25. THAT is funny!! I'm working my way around the blog hop I'm a mom too!

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  26. We have been usng expensive diapers since our baby was born and we have never had an issue. Our baby has never had any rash and the diapers never leaked (and there were mornings when we were amazed by the extra weight they had taken on).
    honest company reviews

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