Try Again For The Girl

I don’t usually pretend to be a psychic, but one thing I’ve long known based on pure intuition was that when Mrs. Dude and I started having kids, we would only have boys. Though there was no science behind it, there was some reasoning that seemed logical to me, and possibly a little bit of desire. My brother and sister and their spouses have 5 kids between them, 4 of whom are girls.  And since all 5 of my nieces and nephews were born before my kids, I figured it was up to me to even things out a bit. At this point, I’d say it’s unlikely that Mrs. Dude and I will have any more kids, but if for some reason we do, I already know it would be another boy. And that is just fine with me.

I knew the Littler Dude would be a boy even before seeing that little circle near the top left. 

It’s not that I don’t like girls, nor would I have minded having some as my children, it’s just that having boys made sense for my family. To numerous others, there was some question, even though it was really none of their business nor did they have any, skin in the game, so to speak.

With our first pregnancy, we didn’t find out the baby’s gender in advance of delivery (not that I needed to, I was that sure). And invariably during that pregnancy the first two questions Mrs. Dude and I were asked by strangers and non-strangers alike were “When are you due?” and “What are you having?”, which are both pretty standard. The first question is easy enough to answer. The second one is trickier because so many people, especially strangers, are so unnecessarily nosy. I learned that if you tell someone that you chose to not find out the baby’s gender, the belly invariably become subjects for observation, usually followed up by a meaningless anecdote. Whether it’s via random pronouncement with no basis in anything: “You’re having a girl!” Or the people who believe in the old wives tales which also hold no logical or scientific basis in reality: “You’re carrying low, so it’s a boy!” Of course 5 minutes later you will likely run into some other kook who says carrying low means it’s a girl. Again, that stuff is pointless.

With our second pregnancy, Mrs. Dude wanted to learn the gender in advance. Mainly to find out if we’d have to buy new baby clothes or not. So I figured the inevitable inquisitions by these random people would be more cut and dry this time. But I was wrong. The expected first two questions led to a new, and in my opinion ridiculous, third question that usually went something like this:

“Oh, another boy? Are you going to try again for a girl?”

Why people get so nosy and touchy-feely around pregnant people is a mystery, but a question like this is just unnecessary. Maybe I’m trying to breed the next big Boy Band and having a girl would radically alter my master plan for The Five Dudes. Maybe we’re trying to clone the first kid. Whatever the case, why is having a girl necessary? If I’d heard this question only once, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But it became such a common occurrence, that I realized it must be a common perception that a family is incomplete unless both genders are represented.  

I’ve asked a few people why they asked the question and have received answers like “don’t you want to have at least one of each” or “don’t you want a kid for your wife to enjoy”. Um, what? Do you think she’s not able to enjoy the ones she already birthed because they are measly boys? And really, would girls be that much better? I’m thankful we’ll never have a Girl Scout in our midst. Lord only knows what would happen if I had open access to cases of Do-Si-Dos. And then there’s this experience that my friend Kevin McKeever, from the great blog “Always Home& Uncool” endured with his teenage daughter recently. That alone makes me consider a vasectomy just to be safe.

Having a child is a miracle of life and Mrs. Dude and I are very fortunate to have two happy and healthy boys. Even though I knew we’d only have boys, I’d have been thrilled to have two girls if fate had played out that way. But it just wasn’t in the cards for us. And I don’t think having a girl just for the sake of evening things out would change anything for me, or make sense in any logical way, so I’ll stick with boys. After all, it was my 10 year old nephew, himself a brother to a sister, who summed it up perfectly upon meeting his cousin the newborn Littler Dude for the first time when he said “The Little Dude is so lucky to have a brother!” I couldn’t agree more.  

Are you happy with the gender(s) your kids are? Do you wish you'd gotten a different variety?

Dude vs Nature

I’m admittedly not an outdoorsy person. I went to sleep-away camp for many summers as a kid and my least favorite experience every single year was the night we had to hike into the woods, roll out our sleeping bags in the dirt and actually go camping. Yes, nature is beautiful, wonderful, etc. I’d just rather observe it while driving by in an air-conditioned vehicle. 

So when I received an email inviting my family to a KOA Blogger Event, I was excited. Then I Googled “KOA” to see what it was. If you don’t know, as I didn’t, KOA stands for “Kampgrounds of America” which is a company that franchises campgrounds throughout the US. Knowing absolutely nothing about camping, I assumed people just walked into the woods, popped tents and did their thing. I now know those people are usually known as vagabonds or hobos.  

After learning what KOA was, however, I figured this event wasn’t for us. To me, roughing it means staying at a Hilton that doesn’t offer a full breakfast buffet. Then I looked at the KOA website and saw that this wasn’t just camping. It was “glamping”. And yes, that’s a real term people use, meaning "glamour camping".  While there are traditional campsites for people who enjoy sleeping on dirt, many KOAs also offer luxury cabins, teepees and other amenities that are the antithesis of “roughing it”.

The event was being held the weekend of Mrs. Dude’s birthday, so I figured that’d be a good reason not to go.  Since neither of us could be considered “outdoorsy” by anyone other than an agoraphobic, I figured the birthday girl would nix the offer. But then again, it’s been so long since we’ve had a real vacation that I would’ve considered a getaway to Siberia if it was free. Lo and behold, when I told Mrs. Dude she said we should do it. (Camping, not Siberia.)

I really didn’t know what to expect as we trekked the 50-something miles to KOA Ventura Ranch. Frankly, I was surprised to learn that there is real-live nature so close to where we live. Nestled in the mountains near the town of Ojai, CA, I was captivated by the beauty of the surroundings as soon as we entered the area. And not just because there wasn’t a McDonalds or Starbucks in sight.    

We drove to our “Comfort Cabin” and unloaded enough stuff for a week, even though we were only staying 24 hours:

We had a queen-size bed, full bathroom, mini-fridge, microwave and air-conditioning. (It wouldn't be camping without artificial air.)  And to top it off, literally, was a loft area where our Little Dude could play, hang out and sleep.  He thought it was the coolest thing ever. I did, too, until I cracked my head on the super-low ceiling for the first time. 

As you can see, they maximized the cabin space by limiting the width of the staircase leading to the loft:  

We wanted to explore the property a bit before dinner and since their pool is under construction, we wandered down to the creek. I already felt like a figurative fish-out-of-water by this experience, and that was compounded when I found myself surrounded knee-deep by literal fish-in-water.  Schools of tiny white minnows fluttered in the clear water as we walked by. I could almost feel their sliminess through the water:

The Little Dude was having so much fun he almost had to be dragged out of the water. And not just because his non-waterproof diaper bloated when immersed and weighed about 11 lbs.  

With a new diaper in place we headed to the recreation area. They had a giant jumping pillow, but after he nearly got catapulted off by an overeager tween’s flying leap, he’d had enough.  He was too small for the rock wall and most of the other activities, but was eager to ride the peddle bikes with me. I can’t remember the last time I rode a bike in general, and am pretty sure I’ve never done it with a 35-lb lump sitting on my lap. As we navigated the dirt path, the Little Dude cackled with delight while my legs burned in agony. 

At dinner KOA buttered us up, literally, with rich buttercream. They got a special cupcake-cake in honor of Mrs. Dude’s birthday:

Thankfully my child/picky eater, who declined the hosted BBQ dinner, wolfed down two cupcakes in his mother’s honor. And looked like Heath Ledger’s Joker in the process:

Our amenities were very comfortable and our son was so tired from his fun day that he crashed on the loft for 10+ hours. After he passed out Mrs. Dude and I ended up talking, which is apparently an evening activity that people utilized in the old days.  In our attempts to connect with nature, we’d left our laptops at home. Who would have known that a 75-acre campground had Wi-Fi? Thankfully our iPhones had full service. 

Since you are reading this, you know that we survived our night in the wilderness.  And much more pleasantly than I ever would have imagined.  I've stayed in motels in big cities with much scarier accommodations and  surroundings than this. Considering the closest I normally get to nature is buying Girl Scout Cookies every year, I am glad to know that glamping exists.  Even if I had to venture all the way into nature to experience it.
  

Disclosure: KOA hosted us at Ventura Ranch and provided a cabin, meals and more fresh air than an Angeleno is used to. This post is entirely my opinion.  
For more info or to find the nearest KOA campground, please visit KOA.com.