Monday, April 16, 2012

Stars Are Just Like Us?

My wife has a subscription to US Weekly magazine and I can admit that I glance at it occasionally. But only after I’ve finished reading my own magazines about sports, mustaches, chainsaws and other manly things.  US has a feature called “Stars Are Just Like Us”, which shows pictures of celebs in real day-to-day situations like Britney Spears getting a parking ticket “just like us” normal people. Except our tickets aren’t usually on a $400,000 Bentley. In Beverly Hills. 

A couple recent news stories grabbed my attention and made me wonder if celebrities parent “just like us” average folk, too.  Do you think they ever get peed on, like us peons, or do they have an assistant with a shield, mask and tarp to handle that task?

The first story involved Alicia Silverstone, who you probably remember from the 1990s movie Clueless and pretty much nothing else since.  She recently posted a video on YouTube of her chewing food from a plate and then depositing it from her mouth directly into her son’s mouth for him to eat. As if it’s not bad enough that she named her son “Bear Blu”, the video makes them look like they are hormonal teens playing tonsil hockey.  I know mama birds chew food for their babies, but they don’t have opposable thumbs. Or knives and forks.  There’s also some serious bacteria-transfer going on in a situation like that which can’t be healthy for Bear. Yes, I’m an admitted germaphobe but I’d rather roll around in a bathtub filled with staph-infected snakes than eat food someone else had already chewed, no matter the familial relationship. 

The second story was about actress January Jones eating her own placenta after the birth of her son. When I first heard about this, I pictured her wearing a giant bib while cutting into a steak-like lump of flesh. Then I found out the placenta is actually ground up and put into a capsule. I guess that’s better or at least a more efficient way of eating it.  Supposedly eating ones’ afterbirth helps with postpartum depression, increases the supply of breast milk, restores pre-pregnancy energy levels and helps replenish nutrients lost during pregnancy and more. There is no scientific research proving any of those claims to be true, though. I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure those traits can be obtained via a variety of supplements at any drug store. Or the majority of items at Whole Foods. And none of the ingredients lived in a person’s body for almost a year.  I totally understand wanting to bond with your child, but eating their womb-side TV dinner seems a little close for comfort to me. Perhaps Miss Jones thinks that by gaining notoriety for this quirky behavior people will forget that she was in the awful “American Wedding” sequel a few years ago. 


The third story is about actress Mayim Bialik who recently wrote a book about her dedication to “attachment parenting”. I give her a lot of credit for being with her kids all the time and not hiring a nanny or babysitter as many people, whether famous or not, do. But I think that waking up 4-6 times per night to breastfeed her 3 ½ year old sons seems excessive. Bialik starred in “Beaches” as a tween and now stars on “The Big Bang Theory”, a sitcom about brilliant scientists/social misfits whose mothers’ parenting stunted their emotional growth. It sounds like Mayim is taking a page out of that book and applying it to her real life. 


From what I’ve learned over the last few years, breastfeeding is an incredible experience that creates a strong bond between mother and child. But when the kid is old enough to go to school or eat a steak, it might be time to wean. If I were a woman (which I’m not, just to be clear) I’d be afraid of sharp untrained teeth on my delicate areas. I guess Mayim’s overnight routine isn’t as difficult, however, since her whole family sleeps in a communal bed on the floor of her bedroom. I know how much fun it is when my son is in our bed occasionally for an hour and can’t fathom him being there all night, nor would I want to. That’s partly because a) I like having pillows and covers & b) I don’t like getting kicked in the head while sleeping. It’s not that I don’t want to be with my son or spend quality time with him, but I think a certain level of independence is very important for kids to develop early and sleeping in their own crib/bed in their own room is a vital component of that.  

From reading all of these unorthodox parenting stories, I learned that celebrities really do parent just like us. I know that Alicia, January and Mayim are not the only people who believe in the techniques mentioned above. I think that every parent is obligated to do what they feel is best for their children. Just because it might not be right for me, doesn't mean it's not right for you. Though the practices mentioned above are not any that my wife or I have ever used on our son, our parenting is similar to the celebrities in that we all obviously love our kids enough to do whatever we believe will help them thrive, by any means necessary. So I guess stars really are just like us. 

What do you think of these parenting methods and practices? Do you utilize any of them?



I'm linking up with the great writers at Yeah Write again this week. 
Check them out and come back Thursday to vote for your favorites:



Oh, and the very cool Stasha invited me to link up with her gang this week, even though my post doesn't include 10 things, but was coincidentally on her exact subject.  Check 'em out:

32 comments:

  1. A long-ago Saturday Night Live skit (long ago, like when the show was funny - with Dan Akroyd & Jane Curtin), featured an "ad" for Placenta Helper. The tagline was, "you can only have it every nine months, so why not make it good!" Clearly someone showed this to January J. at an impressionable age. Wonder what she would make of another skit, this one for a product that was both a floor wax AND a dessert topping!

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    1. AND they had a skit called like "bird family" where the parents fed their teenage kids by chewing food and putting it in their mouths. I gotta say, "eeek." But I'm not a parent, so I guess..whatever works?

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    2. They also had Pre-Chew Charlies where you could order pre-chewed food at a restaurant if you had dentures or bad teeth or whatever. I still remember that!

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  2. my wife and i did NONE of these things with our 3 daughters and they haven;t robbed any liquor stores yet. we're lcuky, I guess.

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  3. I did not know of any of these until I called the Listicles topic and a little part of me wishes I could go back to ignorance. You are a kind man for giving them a pass at the end. I still think they are on some silly CA gas. But hey...
    You should absolutely link this up to Listicles so others can read it too!!

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  4. I had forgotten about the placenta thing...and I was just enlightened on Mayim's breastfeeding. Too funny.

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  5. No, I won't chew food and then give it to my kids, nor breastfeed them when they're old enough to go to preschool and I will absolutely NOT eat my own placenta (gag).

    Somehow, I think we'll be okay :)

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  6. I am a "to each her own" sort of mom. However... none of these are my style. I did think of the bacteria with the food though. I remember reading (and feeling guilty about) sharing a straw with my kid or letting him eat off my fork because of germs. I'm surprised that someone chews her kids food unnecessarily.

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  7. I'm not a mom, but I can safely say that chewing up and depositing food into someone else's mouth is not on my "to-do list" for the near (or far) future. I do like the point you've made here though. It seems that everyone really is just doing what they think is best...be it a little unorthodox or not.

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  8. I'm not a parent but I'm going to take a stand anyway and say that neither of the two parenting techniques you highlight can be good. Yes, you need to do what you think is best for your kid, but wow what you think is best may not be best. Then what? Eventually your kid will need to function on his own. Sometimes I think celebrities feel they have a free rein because they are celebrities. Their sense of self worth is to the extreme of most everyday parents trying to do the best they can.

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  9. I'm still having trouble getting the placenta thing out of my mind. Gag. I'm sure Mayim Bialik is not alone in her thinking, but I feel that when I child gets to where he/she can talk well enough and probably describe mom's breast, it's time to stop the breastfeeding.

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  10. yea, I try to stear clear of judging parenthood knowing my kids will have plenty to talk about in therapy. yet, I kinda think it is different when they put out a youtube video on their parenting style, they are more than free to have their belief set, but know that people are going to make value calls on them when you make them public.

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  11. The placenta thing makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

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  12. Honestly? I don't really think anything of any of these situations. I really do believe that women should be able to make their own choices about their bodies and their children, so long as they aren't harming anyone. I do lots of things that other people might find odd or awkward or just plain stupid...but I do them consciously, and I am glad to be able to make my own choices in my life.

    Would I breastfeed a 3-year-old? No, probably not. But there are plenty of women all around the world who do, and I wouldn't judge them for it.

    Would I ingest my own placenta in pill form? No, probably not. But if a woman has suffered from PPD - or is afraid that she might - then who am I to suggest that she shouldn't do anything in her power to avoid it? Even if there's no actual proof that it's anything but a placebo effect, who am I to say that a woman doesn't have a right to that? (hee hee...just noticed how similar the words placebo and placenta are...) And besides, there might not be proof that it helps...but neither is there proof that it DOESN'T help.

    It isn't worth it - to me - to spend my energy judging women who are hurting no one with their actions, and who are only seeking to be the best mothers they can be to their children, even if they're choosing to go about it in rather unconventional ways.

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    1. I think that the shock value of these stories is mitigated when the details are explained. Thanks for saying most of what I would have said! It makes a big difference in the imagination to picture digging into sauteed placenta versus swallowing a pill with placenta in it.

      Is that more gross than sausage encased in pig instestines? I mean, really?

      And I have to admit to not being as grossed out as ANY of my friends by the mastication Silverstone did. I guess I'm more crunchy than I thought.

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  13. It is hard for me, as a dude, to judge, but the only thing I could say in terms of coddling your children is that it would be a shame if it resulted in the child not being able to properly acclimate with his or her peers at school. As I said, I am no expert, but I fear that breast-feeding a child for 3+ years would lead to attachment issues, which would probably hurt a bit when the kid goes to school and can think of nothing else than being with his/her mom.

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  14. Well you know I BF'd my first one until she was probably "too old" - but it was a mutual, private kind of decision - I took my cues from her - by BF'ing really I mean in the last stage it was only just before bedtime but she was SO attached to it, so was I - I think she was 2 or even 2 and a bit by the time we weaned. My second had enough at 6 or 8 mos! She wanted to move onto other things so we did. I had a harder time of it than she did.
    Anyway I'm blathering but what I really wanted to say here was kudos for you, a daddy blogger, for weighing in your own opinions on the whole breastfeeding thing! Many men are fraidy-cats on this topic so they say nothing.
    Also - what do you mean you don't have a $400,000 Bentley or mama-bird feed your kids? Doesn't everybody??

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  15. I'm a judgy judger with permanently raised eyebrows, but I allow an exception for parenting. Probably because I work in human services and see a parade of actual horrible parenting, I just can't get as riled up about spitting food into a child's mouth or eating a placenta. That said, I hate attachment parenting...for me. I tried it. I bought the books. I read the books (major step for me). I tried the techniques with Shiftless Baby 1...and they were a disaster. My children actually go to their cribs on their own for "alone time." I think I annoy them.

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  16. That's a great post. But I think kids needs to grow at their own pace and independently. Yes we are always there when they need us, but we can't always be there.

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  17. i can't speak to eating placenta in any form, but i do know getting kicked in the head in the middle of the night is not fun. as for stealing the covers - well, my spouse does that, so i'm SOL.

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  18. Dude, I always love your posts. The amazing thing to me is not so much the kookiness of pre-chewing or placenta-eating but the fact that the kooks have gone out of their way to advertise it. I may do the occasional kooky thing myself, but I sure don't post youtube videos of my quirks. Keep it to yourselves, people!

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  19. I'm a mother of five and I have never understood the whole breastfeeding until they're headed to college thing and please do not even get me started on the mouth to mouth feeding method of Ms. Silverstone. I think she may have rolled with the homeys just a bit too much - just sayin.

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  20. I have 5 kids. I gave birth to 3 of them. I never ate my placenta nor did I have any desire to. Ever. I breatfed my son for 21 months and that was a very long time. I wanted to stop at a year. He disagreed. He won. I formula fed the others. I co-slept with my son for what seems like a lifetime but I'm sure it just seems that way because of the massive sleep deprivation. He's the only one that co-slept. I'm noticing a trend here. My son is a terrorist and I am his hostage. Damn.

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  21. I think this parenting thing is just so hard because there are so many ways to do it. It seems that if we find a way that works for us there is always going to be someone telling you it's the wrong way.
    And who decided what the right way to do this way anyway?
    I think you hit it on the head with this, "our parenting is similar to the celebrities in that we all obviously love our kids enough to do whatever we believe will help them thrive, by any means necessary."
    If all parents could subscribe to this, and stop the judging of others' parenting techniques, maybe the parenting thing wouldn't be such a hot topic.
    Thank you for tackling this issue here.

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  22. Celebrities are weird. They just are. Probably part of what makes them celebrities.

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  23. I think they are just like us because some of us non-celebrity types are batshit crazy too! I've known people to engage (to some degree) in each of these ... um... interesting parenting choices. Great post!
    -MamaMzungu

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  24. I like your "to each his or her own" philosophy. We may have lampooned these ladies a little rougher in our Monday Listicles this week.
    But two things:
    1) About the placenta thing, I would like to point out the irony that Jones lauded the naturalness of eating her placenta, YET, she had it PROCESSSED into pills. I poo-poo the hypocrisy. If you are going to do it, do it right: bib and a steak knife.
    2)How could you resist calling Bialik Blossom??
    Ellen

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  25. I don't have any kids, but I chew my husband's food up for him before I plate it.

    I'm TOTALLY kidding.

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  26. Great post. I remember years ago watching an interview with Lindsay Wagner and Catherine Oxenburg, both touting the benefits of breast feeding. Catherine proudly announced she had for 8 months, big applause, Lindsay announced she BF'ed until her son was 4 1/2. you could have heard a pin drop and the look of horror on Catherine's face was priceless. Even when they agree they disagree. Who's to know what is right or wrong?

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