Conquering Parental Anxiety, with a Car Seat

In my almost 5 years of parenting I’ve changed thousands of diapers, fed a comparable number of bottles, lost incalculable hours of much-needed sleep and had myriad Pixar movies’ images permanently burned into my corneas after perpetual viewings.

Parenting the two Junior Dudes has introduced me to activities that not only had I never done before, but many that I didn’t even know existed before I became a father. Siphoning the snot out of their congested little noses, anyone?

There is one invaluable parenting exercise, however, which I had intentionally avoided doing since even before Day 1: I never learned how to install a car seat. Though I’ve never acknowledged it before now, I admit that not knowing how to do something as vital as this has been a source of guilt. So you’re probably wondering why an extremely hands-on father like me never learned how to install a car seat and the answer is simple.

Insecurity.

Not wanting to fail as a father has been an ongoing fear since long before I actually became one and I don’t think that’s abnormal. I frequently tell my boys, and myself, that my primary objectives are making sure they are always fed, healthy & safe.  

When we went to get our first infant seat installed a week before the Little Dude was born, it was my 37-weeks-pregnant wife maneuvering in the back seat of her Prius watching the Installation Guru finesse the intimidating harnesses and straps into place. I was afraid that when called upon to install a car seat in a real setting, I would do it wrong and my son would somehow get hurt as a result. So I strongly encouraged my wife, who is much better with attention to detail than I’ll ever be, to learn the process. And for 4 ½ years, she’s moved the seats in and out of our cars like a professional.

So I decided to finally do something about it.

When the Britax people asked if we wanted to test out their Advocate "UltimateComfort Series" car seat*, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally learn this skill I desperately wanted but had long avoided. Since we’ve used Britax car seats for years, and I felt confident that they’ve been keeping my boys safe, this was my golden opportunity to finally practice what I preach.

I opened the box and read the instruction booklet cover to cover. I felt comforted knowing Britax’s patented HUGS Chest Pads would be hugging the Littler Dude safely in his seat, since I can’t do it myself while driving. The technology Britax created to minimize the force a child encounters in the unexpected event of an accident is vital and the seat’s Integrated Steel Bars lock its connection to the car, reducing forward movement during a crash. There are countless features Britax includes to make sure that kids stay safe in the (Heaven Forbid) event of an accident. Those are the nightmares no parent wants to think about, but I feel better knowing Britax is looking out for my kids like they are their own.

Since both of my boys are near the top of their respective growth charts, it’s reassuring to know that the 19-month-old Littler Dude can stay in this Advocate until he’s 65 pounds (and 49” tall), which should be at least another year (hopefully 4).  

When the moment of truth finally happened, when it was time to personally ensure my son’s day-to-day safety, I brought the owner’s manual and one more essential asset out to the driveway to help me install my first car seat: my wife.

I expected a barrage of obstacles and challenges, but the truth is the actual installation took less than 10 minutes start to finish. Like a child afraid to try a new food, only to discover it’s delicious, I conquered a critical piece of self-doubt that had plagued me for 4 ½ years. Knowing how safe and well-built Britax products are, I have no doubt that the Littler Dude will be safe in his new Advocate. Plus, now that I know first-hand how LATCH connectors and the Five-Point Harness work, I feel extra confident that my sons are in good hands…and comfy seats. (Did I mention that it's called the UltimateComfort Series partly because the headrests and seat itself are Memory Foam?)  

Though I’m still a car seat novice, I can rest assured knowing that the Littler Dude clearly appreciates at least one essential feature of his Advocate: Britax’s True Side Impact Protection, or as he likely views it, a cozy place to rest his head.

I think he likes it. 

Disclaimer: Though I was given an Advocate UltimateComfort Series car seat by Britax for review purposes, I was not compensated otherwise for this post. All opinions contained within are 100% mine, for better or worse. Also, I wish they made these in my size so I could sit on Memory Foam whenever I'm in the car. 

*= The Advocate Ultimate Comfort Series is available exclusively at Babies R Us. 

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My Second Baby Shower

Red Carpet Entrance -- It's how I roll. 

Having been inaugurated into the world of baby showers last year, when I attended Big City Moms’ L.A. Biggest Baby Shower, I had a more focused mission in mind for my second go-round. While last year I didn’t know what to expect before it arrived, kind of like when I first became a father, this year I was much more prepared, like the second time I became a father, and my goal was to scope out which new parenting essentials might be of most interest to Dude-Fathers.  

The 2014 LA Biggest Baby Shower was held recently at the picturesque Skirball Center in Bel Air, CA, where the last time I visited I did an archaeological dig with the Little Dude. For this visit I also explored with unknown expectations and I left pleasantly surprised by the results. (Much better than that decoy clay pot we found last time.)

Just to make sure I had the energy to make it through a 3-hour-long event after another very short night of sleep thanks to the Junior Dudes, immediately upon entering the venue I jumpstarted my system with some Sprinkles Cupcakes that were sweeter than my kids while at a toy store. Their triple-cinnamon cupcake was epic, BTW.

Since the Junior Dudes seem prone to simultaneous chronic runny noses, allergies and any other conditions that I can classify their nasal leakage as, I was quite intrigued by the new Clearinse Nasal Cleansing System I discovered. My guess is that my boys’ condition likely stems genetically from my own sinus issues, and I know that saline irrigation helps better than anything else since I use it every day myself. As a result, I am eager to try out the Clearinse system the next time they are congested to see how it works, especially since it was created by a Pediatrician who is also a father. Here’s hoping it’s nothing to sneeze at. (Sorry.) 

After checking out the vast selection of stroller and car seat brands from around the world like Peg Perego, Orbit and Quinny at the Shower, and learning about their myriad unique bells-and-whistles, I was most interested in Britax’s new collection of boosters and car seats that are supposed to be super easy to install. Especially since I have never actually installed a car seat, but would like to learn how. Someday. Seriously. 

Britax: Cool gear and smiling faces. 

Daddy and Company was showing another great gift collection for both expectant and experienced fathers. Their Daddy Scrubs remain the one elusive item I wish I’d had before we went into the hospital when Mrs. Dude gave birth, since the hospital-issued scrubs were as comfortable as cardboard covered in paste and made an already nerve-wracking day even more stressful. I also saw some great gift items for Dudes’ Day Fathers’ Day, that I’d like to receive. (Hint, hint) 

I saw some cool new products from Ergo, updates of some items my family doesn’t use anymore and that (briefly) made me want to have another kid. Also, a magical homeopathic elixir called Camilia that is so good at helping relieve teething pain that my Littler Dude, who’d just gotten like 6 teeth in a month when I attended the event, was immediately cured the day after I got home…and I hadn’t even given him the medicine yet. That stuff is nails.

There was one brand at the event which I was both very familiar with and most eager to meet, because I’ve used their product since roughly the day I became a father. When Mrs. Dude was first pregnant, I was totally clueless as to what we actually needed for parenting beside a baby. I told her to register for whatever she wanted and the one thing I’m grateful for is my Diaper Dude diaper bag. Unlike most diaper bags it’s not covered in flowers, paisley or teddy bears and is designed with Dudes in mind. Sold.  I got a sneak preview of some of their new Major League Baseball licensed diaper bags and Dude-and-son matching gift sets. Seriously, these bags are rad and made with Dads in mind, and briefly made me want to have triplets, just for all the new bags.  

The Dude of the House and the Diaper Dude finally meet. Dude!

Now with 2 Biggest Baby Showers under my belt, I can say that there truly is a place at these events for Dudes/Dads both to-be and already-are. There is no shortage of great gear, and thankfully there is a vast enough assortment of vendors to really gain an objective view of the market, which is really the most important thing, IMO. Just because one stroller is great for me, it might not be for you. That’s why the Biggest Baby Showers are truly valuable, because you can meet the people who truly know the ins and outs of the products, because in many cases they created them! Every baby is different and so are their needs. Go spend a night with the Big City Moms when they hit your town and find what’s right for you and yours.  

Though I was not compensated for this post, I was given complimentary admission to the Big City Moms’ L.A. Biggest Baby Shower and I thank them for hosting me. All opinions expressed in this post are mine alone, for better or worse.

My First Baby Shower

Much like Bachelorette parties and sorority hazing, the Baby Shower is a mysterious event that women partake in that men usually aren’t privy to.  And I’ll admit, we are a little curious. Just as most dudes know what really happens at Bachelor parties versus what they tell their wives, we have similar preconceived notions for what goes on at your events (i.e. nonstop pillow and/or tickle fights). Mrs. Dude opted against having Baby Showers during both of our pregnancies, so I had no idea what one really entailed until I attended my first one recently.

I always assumed baby showers consisted of a group of women sitting around, eating salads then cake followed by long talks about baby names, lactation and episiotomies. And honestly, beyond the cake, none of those subjects is of particular interest to me. However when I was invited to the Big City Moms’ recent local “Biggest Baby Shower” event, I figured I should go see if all my preconceived notions were accurate. As it turned out, I wasn’t too far off base.

The line waiting to get inside. 

Held at a beautiful classic building in Hollywood, the Biggest Baby Shower was a massive event for both expecting parents and those with newborns. Having a 6-month-old but no uterus, I wondered how much of the event would be applicable to me and I will admit that I was pleasantly surprised.

While I didn’t hear any discussions of episiotomies (thankfully), there was quite a bit of talk of other changes that women’s bodies undergo both during and after childbirth.  One of the first brands I encountered, Belly Bandit, makes cool looking undergarments designed to help the body regain its pre-pregnancy shape. I was very excited, then quickly disappointed when I learned that their products are only recommended for women, since I still have an extra 10 lbs to drop since the Littler Dude arrived.

There were a plethora of stroller and car seat manufacturers from exotic locations like Europe, Asia and Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Before my first son was born, I was baffled by the myriad options available among the vast stroller displays I encountered. Surprisingly the pimply-faced kid at Babies R Us wasn’t tremendously helpful either. Shocking, right? I wish Mrs. Dude and I had an event like this to attend where we could learn about cool new designs, features and functions before making our decision. Before I was a parent, you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to understand the purpose of a Snap & Go and why we needed one. I saw many similarly lost Dudes at this event, standing beside ready-to-burst significant others, learning from the pros brought in from around the globe by brands like Britax, Peg Perego, Baby Jogger and several more that I never knew existed.

I was amazed how many companies make luxurious potions to help reduce stretch marks and chaffed-nipples. Thankfully, the brand reps correctly assumed I didn’t need either. Whew.

My kids love this stuff. 

With the ultra-picky Little Dude and the ultra-hungry Littler Dude, I checked out some great Organic food options from companies like NurturMe, Happy Family & Ella’s Kitchen. They each have unique health benefits for infants through toddlers by combining the best fruits and vegetables into combos you’d never expect, like Rutabaga, Cherries and Celery. I brought home several samples for both of my boys and every one has been a big hit, leading to a higher success rate than Prince Harry at a singles bar. After learning about those nutritious organic brands, I gorged myself on mini cupcakes from nearby booths for Sprinkles and Georgetown Cupcakes. I believe that’s what is known as a balanced diet.  

Don't worry, I left a couple for someone else to enjoy. 

I met a cool new mother who created an ingenious product called Zippyz. Designed for everyone who has ever struggled to change a newborn’s diaper in the dark or while they’re sleeping: pajamas that zip only halfway up, making it infinitely easier to unzip, change the diaper and re-zip. People like me who often struggle with the unbelievably tricky matrix-style snap-up pajamas will certainly appreciate this great idea. I only wish they made them in my size.

I met bottle manufacturers and myriad must-have baby accessory companies. Coincidentally, all of them have the best products on the market. There was at least one that I could verify: Summer, who makes the multi-camera video monitor system that helps me ensure that both of my boys are snoring in tandem every night.

The Biggest Baby Shower was great for several reasons. First, I finally learned that I’m not missing anything when my wife attends baby showers beside great cupcakes. And second, the event really opened my eyes as to how many unique baby products exist. I just wish this event had occurred about 6 months earlier, before the Littler Dude joined our clan. And that the Belly Bandit would work on me. 

On my way out of the event, I received a ginormous gift bag filled with products from some great baby product companies:

The Littler Dude is obsessed with this
Double Decker bus by Mamas and Papas
from the gift bag

Oh, did I mention that I won a Britax stroller, too?

My moment of fame on the red carpet.
No autographs, please.

Yes, I think baby showers are pretty cool after all. Even if one must endure extensive discussion about, um, chafing  there's always cupcakes. 

Thanks to Big City Moms for inviting me to the Biggest Baby Shower event. Though they let me in the door at no charge, the opinions expressed within this post are completely mine. For better or worse. Check out their website for upcoming events in your area. Seriously, check it out. 

What do you think about Baby Showers in general?

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