Spoiler Alert: There
are key Star Wars plot points inside this piece. I shouldn’t need to warn
anyone, as the original movies were all released 30+ years ago, so if you
haven’t seen them and are shocked by any revelations here, that’s on you.
During both of Mrs. Dude’s pregnancies I received
suggestions of must-read pregnancy and parenting books from more than a few
people I knew and myriad more that I didn’t. I did explore a couple, partially
to pacify those who had shared their recommendations and also, more frequently,
to help me fall asleep on those I-can’t-freakin’-do-this
pre-delivery sleepless nights.
But there is another source of parenting tips I’ve reflected
upon countless times over the last 5+ years since the Little Dude was born. And
now, with Father’s Day once again upon us, I want to share with you some of the
great parenting dos and don’ts I learned from one of the most infamous movie
fathers of all time, Darth Vader.
1) Be present for, and with, your children:
As Vader was pretty much a deadbeat dad, albeit for very atypical reasons, his
son was lucky to have his old man’s former mentor (aka Obi-Wan Kenobi) looking
out for him during his most impressionable period. Sure, being raised on a farm
in Tatooine by his father’s stepbrother Owen was probably not nearly as
exciting as a childhood spent roaming the Death Star, but Luke received a good education
(also from Mr. Kenobi), had a large outdoor area for playtime and ultimately
proved to be a high moral character Jedi…despite his father’s
best/worst/completely nonexistent efforts.
2) Don’t give your
kids trendy names: Luke & Leia were excellent choices given their
time and place in history. Context and family history are important, but when
selecting names for your children, consider that they are the ones who will
have to live with them for the rest of their lives, and it’s got to be
difficult to be taken seriously in a professional workplace with a first name
like Boba, Qui-Gon or Jar Jar.
3) Support & encourage your children’s
interests: Luke was a skilled farmer thanks to his uncle’s tutelage,
but he always yearned for something more than a normal (i.e. boring) desert
life. If not for Obi-Wan and Yoda, both
of whom were contemporaries of Luke’s father, Luke might not have achieved his
true destiny as a Jedi Knight. As it turned out, Luke was probably subconsciously
hoping to earn his father’s respect, or at least attention, when he trained to
become a skilled Lightsaber user. I doubt either of them anticipated how that
one was going to turn out.
 |
| If only Vader had used his Lightsaber for dental hygiene instead of evil. |
4) Use Your Words:
In both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, father and son Luke
Skywalker and Darth Vader were brought together via one-on-one physical combat.
They shared a common dearth of quality time together, so it might have behooved
them and their nonexistent relationship to air their grievances (i.e. Luke about
his abandonment and Vader over his son’s refusal to join the family business
and join him over on the Dark Side). When children are not mature enough to
fully express themselves as they wish, they often resort to hitting, hair
pulling or other physical actions and reactions as a method of communicating a
message or getting the response and/or attention they truly crave. “Use Your
Words” is teaching them that verbal communication is a more effective method
for earning a desired outcome. Had Vader been a stronger communicator with
better grasp of his emotions, he might have been able to convince his son to
join him in the family business. Does it matter that said business was less
than legit? Not really, after all, family is family.
5) Don’t Be a Jerk: Vader sliced
his son’s hand off with a Lightsaber AND THEN finally revealed that he was
Luke’s father. It’s well known that children learn both positive and negative
behaviors from observing their parents’ habits and actions. Vader shouldn’t
have been surprised when after forcefully removing Luke’s limb in the heat of
battle, that Luke returned a year later and did the same exact thing to him. Darth
should have considered the Golden Rule: Do
unto others as you’d have them do unto you, which Luke obviously took quite
literally.
All of the above being said, the Star Wars saga is about
family, relationships and dealing with others you may not see eye to eye with.
There will always be issues up for debate (maybe Luke should have listened to
his father and joined the Dark Side, with the goal of turning everyone good
again?) but maintaining open lines of communication can help clear murky things
up. I haven’t shown the Star Wars films to my son yet, but I think he may soon
be due. After all, I know I can hardly wait for Part VII, aka
The Force Awakens, which
will be released later this year, on December 18!. Maybe we’ll find out if Luke settled down and
had a family of his own. I’m hoping he taught his own son a lesson or two,
unlike his father ever did for him.
Happy Father’s Day and May the Force be with you.
_____________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: I wrote this post as part of my participation in
the
Fandango Family Digital Network. I was compensated accordingly, but all
content and opinions contained within are mine entirely, for better or
worse. Come hang with the FF team on
Facebook, too.
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