Skip the Tater Tots and Be a #HealthyDad

Though it usually appears glamorous in movies, most real-life business travel is generally anything but that. My day job takes me on periodic short trips, often back and forth in one day, and to say they are exhausting is like saying the ocean is wet. They’re even more exhausting than parenting. Coincidentally while en route home from my most recent daytrip last week, I had an epiphany: part of the reason I go on these trips is to help take care of my family (financially), but sitting at the gate  I realized that the choices I made on that trip prevented me from taking care of myself.

As the opening notes to “Here Comes the Sun” poured through my iPhone at 4:30am one day last week I knew that I had a flight to catch in 2 ½ hours and had to get moving. I’d slept less than 5 hours the night before and was drained from the get go. I was mostly ready to go from the night before so I quickly got dressed and while making a cup of green tea to take with me, I saw a box of Apple Jacks and grabbed a little baggyful for the road. Sustenance to get me to LAX, I told myself. Plus, it was kinda fruit, right?

One of the few benefits of pre-dawn flights is seeing things like this. 

While waiting for my flight I grabbed some oatmeal from a restaurant to take on the plane. It was loaded with blueberries, almonds and brown sugar. This seemed at least partly healthy or at least healthier than the frosted cinnamon roll that I really wanted at the same shop. After a short flight I had a brief layover before my connection. While traversing terminals at SFO I saw this headline and hoped they’d wait until after I’d gone to begin the testing:

No thanks, SFO. 

After arriving at my destination I met with some coworkers for lunch, AKA a greasy burger with tater tots before our big client meeting. How often does one see tots in a restaurant I asked myself as I wolfed the salty potato nuggets down? Answer: Not often enough to pass them up.

After our meeting we stopped at a gas station and everyone grabbed some candy and a Diet drink to balance it out and power through the long day’s final third. Once back at the airport an order of wings came my way as a sports bar was the only feasible fast place to eat and I needed to grab something to take with. I crushed that meal on my 3^rd flight of the day, along with some Twizzlers I’d discovered while waiting to pay for another Diet soda at the airport.  

It was while traversing SFO for the second time that day, as my stomach begged for mercy, that I realized that while my professional day had gone quite well, my personal day had been a disaster because I hadn’t even remotely taken care of myself. While waiting for my plane to board I grabbed a fruit cup for my 4^th and final flight of the day. I wasn’t even really hungry but felt I should have at least one quasi healthy food item during my marathon day.

It dawned on me, as I struggled to stay awake on my late night jaunt back to LAX that after a night of almost no sleep I’d made it through the day completely artificially via a combination of caffeine, grease and sugar. I’d started off relatively well with green tea and oatmeal but everything after that point was a disaster, which is not OK.

For someone my age, almost pushing 40, with young kids I need to do whatever it takes to ensure that I’m going to be around when they need me, whether it’s 5 years from now or hopefully 50. And a big part of that starts with taking care of myself. I’ve realized that being a Healthy Dad is important to me not only for my own longevity, but also because I’m a role model to my two Junior Dudes. What they see me do will resonate as they grow and that includes what I eat and drink. My pants have felt snug lately and I have not liked what I’ve seen in the mirror or pictures, so as I get ready to mark another notch around the sun in a few weeks I know that I need to be more proactive about my health. 

 For myself and my family.

I’m diligent about my kids getting their regular checkups but have been lax about my own. The truth is that I found a great doctor a few years back but when my company switched insurers he wasn’t on the new plan. I’m sure plenty of other great doctors are, however, and I’m doing myself a disservice by not taking advantage of the free annual physicals most plans include. My boys aren’t getting any younger and neither am I. It’s time for change. I want to be a Healthy Dad and that starts now. It’s time to get a good night’s sleep, skip the tater tots in lieu of a salad and carry healthy snacks so I have no excuses on these grueling 20-hour workdays. I need to do it. I can do it. I will do it.

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So why am I telling you all this? Because I was invited to participate in the #HealthyDad campaign to raise awareness for leading long healthy lifestyles and taking care of ourselves. I made this video, which you should totally check out on my Instagram, to show you a bit more of my inspiration and perspiration.

Make your own video and upload it to the Healthy Dad FB page for your chance to win one of five $100 Amazon gift cards. Totally worth it, for more reasons than one.

Legal Bizness: Thanks to Anthem Blue Cross, who sponsored the campaign, for including dads in this important discussion about family health care. My views are based solely on my experience as a parent, and not as a medical professional. All opinions contained within this post are mine, for better or worse. 

The Dude’s Guide to Surviving Your First Year of Parenthood

I recently shared my words of wisdom with you on how to survive your first pregnancy.  So now that you have made it through the delivery and are home with your adorable bundle of sleep deprivation, you are probably wondering what happens next.  I fully expected my Little Dude to be ready to play when we took him out of the box, so to speak, but I learned the hard way that that’s not how it really works.  So I’ve put together a handy primer on what to expect after you are done expecting, or

The Dude’s Guide to Your First Year of Parenthood:

1)      The first year is boring.  Really boring.  I’m not saying the kid isn’t amazing, because he* undoubtedly is. But if you’re expecting him to do tricks right away, like your puppy did when you brought him home, then you will be very disappointed.  In fact, you shouldn’t expect much activity from him at all for at least 6 months. You know the saying “a watched pot never boils”? It’s sort of the same thing here but with less scalding water and many more unpleasant excretions.

2)      Go to parks. You may feel depressed as you watch bigger kids running and playing on the swings and jungle gym while your little lump is just drooling on his Sophie, but the fresh air is good for him and soon enough he’ll be the one on the slide and you’ll be the experienced veteran who the other new parents will want to trade places with.  

Me with 6 month old Little Dude and an empty playground.

3)      Be flexible. As long as you feed, change and wash the baby on a semi-regular basis (each at least once a week), there’s a good chance he won’t break. Let him adjust to your schedule, not the other way around. If you assume he will sleep at the same exact time every day, you may get lucky. Or you may end up with a Gremlin who becomes evil after midnight.

4)      Speaking of sleep, the baby needs a lot of it.  Especially in the beginning. Who says it can’t occur while you are at a movie, restaurant, or roller derby? If you train the baby to only sleep at home in a quiet room where the temperature is exactly 72 degrees, then you will end up with cabin fever faster than an Eskimo in an avalanche.

5)      Don’t lose your mind. Once the sleep deprivation kicks in, you won’t remember your middle name half the time, let alone when you last changed or fed the baby. Get an itzbeen**. Hit a button to start a timer reminding you exactly when you last changed his diaper (among other things) and you won’t have a baby sitting in more rancid liquid than a month-old matzah ball.  

6)       Read to your kid. You will be so sick of Goodnight Moon within a few weeks that you wish the two little kittens would attack the old lady that’s whispering hush just to make things interesting for a change, but it’s good for the baby to get both the bonding time with you and the vocabulary stimulation. You will start to think Dr. Seuss is really Dr. Kevorkian as you grow bored to tears reading Hop on Pop for the millionth time, but your little one will like it and one day be glad you suffered for him.

7)      Play good music for your baby. If you think typical kids’ music is enjoyable, then maybe you should get checked out by Dr. Seuss. Or Dr. Kevorkian. There is a ton of great rock music that works very well for kids: The Beatles, Bob Marley and Phish just to name a few.  Believe me, the 10^th time in a row you hear Buffalo Soldier is infinitely better than the 10^th consecutive round of Baby Beluga. (And check my “Rockin’ Friday” blog posts every week for a great song your kid will love. Guaranteed to please or your money back.)

8)      There are a million milestones you’ll consider earth-shattering.   Most really aren’t. First steps or first tooth, sure. First bite of asparagus?  Not so much. Put things in perspective and focus on things that the kid will want to remember someday, not trivial things that will bore even the most biased grandparents.

First time in a Bumbo...who cares?!

9)      Don’t make your friends hate you.  I mean Facebook friends, of course.  Sharing a few pictures here and there is one thing. Uploading 50 pictures three times a week will clog News Feeds and surely earn you a few well-deserved De-friendings.

10)   TV won’t kill them. I’m not talking about a 12-hour Jersey Shore marathon. Lord knows that could turn an astrophysicist’s brain into Jell-o halfway through. But there is nothing wrong with a few minutes of screen time here and there if it’s something educational that might benefit them in the long run.  And you in the short term if you need to take a shower for the first time in three days.

What advice would you give to first-time new parents?

*= I use “he” to refer to the child because that’s what I have. Also, I hate saying “he or she” repeatedly. This list applies to female infants, as well.

**= itzbeen didn’t pay me to say that, though I wouldn’t mind if they did. Or at least sent me a new itzbeen for Baby #2. Their product truly helped restore sanity in my house on a daily basis during the Little Dude’s first year.

Rockin’ Friday: Here Comes The Sun

This week’s Rockin’ Friday tune is The Beatles’ Here Comes The Sun. Recorded for their classic Abbey Road album, this is an atypical Beatles songs as it is one of a small minority written and sung by George Harrison.   

England has a well-deserved reputation for being gray and gloomy, no matter the season. One spring day in 1969 Harrison was tired and fed up with what was going on around him at The Beatles' studio so he popped over to his pal Eric Clapton’s house to hang out. As he strolled Slowhand's garden strumming a guitar, this song was born.  

My Little Dude loves this tune. It has easy, repeatable choruses and a sweet acoustic melody. The lyrical message is a great one, too:

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

Whether taken literally as an homage to Spring or as a metaphor for the evolution of happiness and spirit, it is inspirational and always brings a smile to my face.

Here's an All-Star version of HCTS.

What is your favorite Beatles song?

Rockin’ Friday: Mother’s Day Edition

This Rockin’ Friday is a special one, as one of the most important days of the year is only two days away. Mothers’ Day is this Sunday and I want to pay tribute to those wonderful women we owe our lives to with a blossoming bouquet of musical treats. 

Rather than pick just one song, this week I’m going to highlight a few of my favorite songs about mothers. As I was trying to make my choice, I realized there were so many good options that it would be impossible. So like a good mother would I am recognizing a whole batch.

Without further ado, I present "The Dude’s Top 5 Mother Songs":

1)      Mama Tried: This Merle Haggard classic is a tale of a young man who committed a crime despite his mother’s best efforts to keep him on the straight and narrow. He realizes that he should have listened to her, but not until after he “turned 21 in prison, doing life without parole”. Mothers are wise, people, listen to them!

2)      Your Mother Should Know: Paul McCartney wrote this tribute to a mother’s wisdom for the Magical Mystery Tour album & movie. Though he basically calls her old (repeatedly), Macca suggests that we honor her by listening to a song that “your mother would know”.  Even if you don’t like the song, you can honor her by  dancing with her for a few minutes.

3)      That Was Your Mother: Paul Simon’s tells the tale to his child about the fun he and the child’s mother had before the child was born. Apparently they spent some wild times in Louisiana dancing to zydeco music and as a result, the kid was born. They must have stopped at Pat O'Briens.

4)      Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys:   Ed Bruce originally sang it, but Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson made this tale about the hard life of men in the old West famous. It is suggested that Mamas encourage their sons to become “doctors and lawyers and such” to avoid the loneliness of a life chasing cattle and horses around and wearing Levi’s. Not the worst advice I’ve heard.

5)      Mama Said Knock You Out: LL Cool J’s Mama told him to “knock out” all the critics who thought his career was over. That’s why he starts the song with “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years”. His Mama believed in him all the way and he had a career renaissance after this song came out.  Though he’s now on that CSI show that doesn’t look very good.

So what’s the message from all these songs? It’s pretty simple: Mothers are inherently wise. Listen to them and you will thrive. Mine suggested I start writing again, so I listened to her and here we are. I will forever be grateful.

What Mother related songs do you love? 

Or what songs remind you of your Mother?

Rockin' Friday: Quinn the Eskimo

Today’s Rockin’ Friday tune is Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn). Originally written by Bob Dylan in 1967, it has been covered by many artists over the years, including The Beatles, Manfred Mann and Phish.

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Dylan himself has said it’s a “simple nursery rhyme”. It’s a song about an Eskimo named Quinn who visits a forlorn village and immediately changes its’ sad state.  People are pulled out of their despair so much merely by Quinn’s presence that they jump for joy.  (Sort of like a great Will Ferrell cameo in a bad comedy.) Even all the pigeons run to Quinn, though they aren’t known to be a particularly finicky bunch.

The tune has great lyrics, a very catchy chorus and is generally short.  Those are all great features for a "kids" song. Here is one of my favorite versions, performed by The Grateful Dead:

                                           Grateful Dead at Madison Square Garden, 9/19/90

Side note: I’d already selected “Quinn” for this week’s tune when I found out that an old college friend and his wife (who I set up, thankyouverymuch) gave birth to a son just a couple days ago whose middle name is Quinn.  I have to imagine they were partly inspired by the magical traits associated with our beloved Eskimo. 

 

** Is it just me or does Dylan's hair resemble an Eskimo's fur hood?

Rockin' Friday: Werewolves

When my wife was pregnant, one thing that several people told us we *had* to get was kid friendly music to play for our little one.  Personally, I figured diapers and a car seat were more essential, but what did I know.  Turns out I was right, but there is something to be said for good music too.

I’ve been big-time into music as long as I can remember. As the result of having a much older brother, I started listening to The Doors, Pink Floyd, Van Halen (the original/good version) and more when you could still count my age on one hand.  I never had much use for pop music and still don’t.  The same can now be said about so-called “kids’ music”.

I recently asked my Twitter and Facebook friends what music they play for their kids and the response was pretty surprising. More than half listed artists like Laurie Berkner, The Wiggles & Dan Zanes.  Those are all pretty innocuous artists.  And by innocuous I mean boring.  It’s nothing personal.  I’m sure they are nice people and obviously they are very successful, but after listening to their music a few times I wanted to rip my 

ears off and freeze them so they wouldn’t be permanently scarred from the aural atrocities of those songs.

When the Little Dude was born I borrowed some kids’ CDs from the library as a test run before buying.  For some reason, he couldn’t get into them either. And I was glad.  I’ve heard a lot of parents complain about listening to their kids' favorite songs a million times.  My sister has three daughters and even though they live across the country and I only see them a few times a year, I still know the words to Baby Beluga from listening to it dozens of times over the last decade. 

My wife takes the Little Dude to a weekly Music Together class. I recently had the chance to attend one of the classes and while it was fine for an hour, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it week after week.  At least not without a good set of industrial-grade earplugs.

Why not just play the Beatles real music?

Many people rave about the Rockabye Baby CDs.  If you aren’t familiar, they make CDs utilizing music by classic artists like the Beatles and Rolling Stones, but played as lullabies. They also transform, in an intentionally ironic manner, artists like Metallica and Guns N Roses from headbanging thrashers into gentle nursery divas. We have a couple of these CDs and I find them excruciating to listen to.  Again, they must be very popular because they keep making more, but I can’t handle an hour of harpsichords and glockenspiels even if they are playing “Bohemian Rhapsody”.  

I’m not saying all kids’ music is bad, but if I’m going to listen to something repeatedly why wouldn’t I want it to be something more palatable?  About a third of the people who responded to my survey said that they play The Beatles, Beach Boys or Bob Marley for their little Buffalo Soldiers.  A few people surprised me by saying that they played bands like Foo Fighters or Death Cab for Cutie. I can’t stand those bands when my wife listens to them, so there’s no way I’m playing them for my kid.

A tiny number of respondents said that they don’t alter their musical choices for their kids.  That’s the group I fit into. After experimenting with the previously mentioned CDs, I made the Little Dude his own playlist on my iPod. I whittled down my 12,000+ songs into about 800 that I thought he might like. Obviously he’s never told me he’s a big U2 or Police fan so I’ve used my judgment to select songs with bouncy rhythm, catchy lyrics and easily memorable choruses.  Those are many of the same criteria as the typical kids’ music, but my music is something everyone in the car can enjoy. As long as “everyone” is just me and my Little Dude.  

I’m starting a new feature called “Rockin’ Friday” here on the blog and today is the first day, so sit down and buckle your seatbelts. Every Friday I’m going to post a song that the Little Dude likes and a little info about it.

Today’s song is Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London”.  I started working on this post around Halloween, shortly after this song came up in my iPod’s shuffle one day.  I knew the Little Dude would like it because of the catchy piano rhythm and also the infamous chorus.  When Warren sings “A-hoooooooooo, Werewolves of London…”, my Little Dude joins in and howls like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf when he's surfing on top of Stiles' van.  Sure the song mentions mutilating old ladies and drinking at Trader Vic’s, but I gloss over those lyrics while the Little Dude wails passionately in the back seat. 

What songs or bands do you play for your kids? What do they like or dislike?  

"His hair was perfect..."

  

I'm once again linking up with the great gang for Yeah Write #50! 

Come check out some great writers and don't forget to vote on Thursday: