Monday, July 11, 2011

You want me to eat what?

My son, BC, started eating solid food at an early age.  Technically.  Or at least he was permitted to.  More often than not, he declined the option.  He had trouble digesting formula and was a big baby, so the doctor gave us the go ahead at 4 months to give him rice cereal, oatmeal and other rancid-smelling and bland-looking slop.   I know  it sounds really appealing, right?

Since we didn’t think he’d be eating for a while, we hadn’t picked up a highchair for him yet.  So at first either my wife or I would hold BC to feed him. We quickly learned that this left him still hungry as not much made it into the mouth of our little squirmer.  If nothing else, at least our clothes appeared well nourished.

Next we tried sitting him in the middle of the floor in his Bumbo, on a blanket.  This gave us a reasonable distance to avoid getting splattered with those pasty concoctions the Gerber people determined is nutritious for infants. 

We tried all the basic “First Foods”: oatmeal, bananas, squash, yams and other stuff so messy, you’d think the baby food manufacturers were issuing a challenge: “Feed your baby, or else you will have to look at the remains of your failure all over your own clothes, towels and furniture until the end of time!”

Guess what, he didn’t like any of them.  BC: 1, Parents: 0. 

Eventually we got a highchair and that made it a little easier to feed him.  We’d stick toys to the tray or try to distract him by jumping around or making weird noises, somehow hoping he’d open his mouth to enjoy a drop from the world’s smallest spoons.  I’d say my success rate of food into mouth was comparable to that of a Kardashian vs the SAT test.  Not so good. 

After a while, and a ton of those little plastic tubs floating around the fridge, we found some things BC would eat: Blueberries, Apples, Bananas, Grapes and assorted other fruit.  Just like his parents, BC developed a fondness for sweet, sugary goodness. 

We hoped he’d grow out of his pickiness, but feeding him is still a challenge on a daily basis, even a year and a half after he started “eating” food.  Mine must be the only kid in the world who won’t even consider eating a chicken nugget, a French fry, or pizza.  I guess that’s not the worst thing in the world, though. And whenever I try making him those things, which he inevitably won’t eat, I don’t want to waste them so I end up eating my share of dinosaur-shaped chicken pieces.  Lucky me. 

Until next time, Keep on Keepin' on...


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  1. Funny! I Like the Kardashian reference! By kid no. 2, you'll start directly with hamburgers and skip the slop.

  2. The biggest challenge, by far, is getting Gavin to eat. The most frustrating part of parenthood!

  3. Haha.. My diet also consists of uneaten mac 'n' cheese and Dino nuggets! It doesn't get much better at two and a half, except now he talks back. "Those aren't monster brains, mommy. It's broccoli!". Oh, yes, Jake, my bad.