Life is a Beach: The #PowerOfDad

There are an unlimited number of incredible things that you can only do in Southern California, (Disneyland anyone?), though without a doubt my favorite chill-time activity is spending time at the gorgeous beaches. You might be surprised to learn that growing up in the Midwest I didn’t have a lot of high quality beach time. Of course I didn't have poor quality beach time either because there are no beaches there, or at least not the kind you’d want to hang out on.

Over the last 14+ years I’ve been a regular at various beaches throughout the LA area. For me it’s about the serene infinite rolling waves, clear blue skies that seem to extend forever and, my favorite thing, the feel of sand between my toes. Trying to describe the sensation, beyond terms like “perfection”, would be like trying to explain music to a person born without the gift of hearing. Spending time at the beach is pure magic and always brings a big smile to my face.

Naturally, that passion is one that I was eager to instill in my boys. We first took the Little Dude to Malibu when he was about 7 months old and for the last 4 years, we’ve been summertime regulars. Adding his brother to our beach-going clan last summer was a bonus for everyone and this year it’s even better now that he can walk.

Looking for sand crabs, building sand castles and running along the shoreline always makes my boys’ faces light up with pure bliss. It’s hard to tell if their love of the beach is inherent or inherited, but really it doesn’t matter. Their euphoria derived from running down the coast while pulling 10-foot-long strands of seaweed (in a game the Little Dude created, appropriately titled “Seaweed”) would make even Oscar the Grouch smile from cheek to cheek. And I’m man enough to admit that that can be me some of the time. Life is hard. Parenting is harder. But my boys make all of it worthwhile, day in and day out.

The joy we share on our bi-weekly trips to Zuma and other quiet spots on Highway 1, is a pleasure that I look forward to from the moment we get home from our last visit until we arrive for our next. Knowing that I now have the ultimate beach playmates, for whom this sandy retreat is second nature, makes our outings so much more rewarding than I ever could have imagined while growing up in my beach-less childhood. Even typing this warms my heart, brings a smile to my face and makes me look forward to Sunday, our next family beach outing.

With Father’s Day on the horizon, I’m partnering with Oral-B and Life Of Dad as part of their #PowerOfDad campaign. They are celebrating fatherhood’s little moments, as I’ve been doing on Instagram over the last few weeks, and the dads that bring smiles to their families every day. Check out this great video they made and share your favorite fatherhood moments, videos and pics on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram with the #PowerOfDad hashtag.   

In their second year of this Father’s Day program, P&G Oral Care has partnered with March of Dimes, a leading organization for healthy, happy families that celebrates mothers and fathers every day.

P&G Oral Care is also joining forces with members of “Football’s First Family,” New York Giants’ quarterback Eli Manning, his father Archie and his daughter Ava – to celebrate fatherhood’s little moments.

And because things like gingivitis and plaque don’t make for good Father’s Day gifts, check out the brand new Oral-B 7000 BLACK power toothbrush. It oscillates, rotates and pulsates, which are 3 of the most important “-ates” in dental care today.

You’re probably wondering by now how many oscillations and pulsations per minute the Oral-B 7000 Black provides. If you guessed 8,800 & 40,000 respectively, you are correct. And since you are supposed to brush for 2 minutes per session, that’s 17,600 oscillations and EIGHTY THOUSAND pulsations per brush sesh. Your teeth could be shining like Danny Torrance after you use this for a while.

Plus, they had me at “Tongue Cleaner Mode”.

And if you click here, the kind folk at Oral-B want you save some dough on your new brush with a coupon that will bring the price down. Your father would be proud of this act of financial responsibility.

Disclosure: I partnered with Oral-B and Life of Dad, LLC for the #PowerofDad Father's Day promotion and was compensated for my involvement, though the truth is that I really do love the beach and tongue cleanliness. 

Hey, I'm all about Instagram these days.

Come hang with me there: @DudeOfTheHouse

Privatizing Public Pooping or How Cottonelle Saved My Bum

Many moons ago I worked for a very large company in a very tall building. It was one of those buildings where you needed a keycard to access different floors for security reasons. It was also the building used as Nakatomi Plaza in the original Die Hard movie.  And on more than one occasion after a greasy lunch in the commissary, I had a feeling that I might literally die hard if I couldn’t find some relief, pronto. 

But the awkward thing about handling your business in your place of business is that everyone around is all up in your business. On the long hikes to and from the restroom, one’s privacy can quickly dissipate. And given the odds that your cubicle-mate could also be your stall-neighbor, it can lead to very uncomfortable situations.

As someone looking to maximize the value of a job that I was bored with by noon on my first day, after a couple of these potentially embarrassing episodes I figured out a creative workaround to relieve my literal and figurative levels of discomfort. I started using my keycard for afternoon jaunts to the 14^th floor. Being a dozen levels above my colleagues led to much more pleasant expulsion experiences for me. I intentionally chose a floor where I wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone I might have to deal with professionally, and felt much more comfortable with my afternoon delights.

Speaking of comfort, public restrooms rarely leave you feeling either well-rested or entirely clean. The cheap perforated balsa wood they try to pass off as TP is something our military wouldn’t even use to torture prisoners at Guantanamo Bay because it’d be considered cruel and unusual punishment. One thing that I think the next Presidential campaigns should call for is mandating the Cottonelle Care Routine in all bathrooms.

 In case you forgot, the Cottonelle Care Routine is the way to maximize your post-poop comfort level via a two-step method of dry wiping with Cottonelle toilet paper and then wet wiping with Cottonelle Fresh Wipes. Your bum will thank you. No, I don’t mean Larry the guy wearing footie pajamas and suspenders hanging out in front of your local Starbucks. I mean your built-in bum that you use as a portable seat cushion every time you sit. It treats you well and you should reciprocate. Keep it nice, clean and fresh. I wish they’d had the Cottonelle Care Routine when I worked at Nakatomi Plaza. Then I truly would have been comfortable in the lap of luxury.

To help make you even more comfortable with this touchy subject, the rad folk at Cottonelle suggest we break down the toilet-talk taboo and are sponsoring a Haiku contest called Lets Talk Bums.

Three people have already won $200 Amazon gift cards for Tweeting a haiku about their bathroom habits and four more will win over the next few weeks. Here are the winners so far:

Winner #1: @dad_strangeland
Did you wipe? I ask / My four year old shakes her head / Pants already raised.

Winner  #2: @jesteram
Cottonelle sheets, wipes— / like yin and yang for your butt: / Two forces, one whole.

Winner #3: @DeadTurkeyBlog
Please try Cottenelle. / Like wiping with a pillow. / Without the divorce.

As if that’s not enough, those winners are being entered into a drawing for the Grand Prize: An all-expenses-paid trip to the Dad 2.0 conference in New Orleans, February 2014.  And to top that, they (or you??) will get to meet me there.

Tweet your haiku (make sure to keep it clean, like your tush) and be sure to use the #LetsTalkBums and #Haiku hashtags to be entered. Visit wipingpoetic.com for all the details, awesome haiku and more. Then come visit Cottonelle on Facebook and Lets Talk Bums. Larry won’t mind.   

Got any good bathroom misadventures to share? Please leave 'em in the comments below. 

Disclaimer: I need to come clean (see what I did there?) and tell you that I was compensated by Kimberly Clark to participate in this campaign, but all opinions are entirely mine, for better or worse. 

Cleaning Up in the Bathroom

Earlier this year, we finally potty trained the Little Dude. He’d already turned 3 and we’d talked about doing it about 8 months sooner, but life got in the way. After a whirlwind weekend of rushing him to the bathroom every 10 minutes, he quickly got the hang of things and was eager to move on to his next stage of life: wearing Big Boy Underpants.

I was ready, too. As his brother had arrived a few months earlier, buying diapers for two was not ideal. And when he refused to wear even a nighttime diaper on the second night of potty training, I praised his independence, even as I feared for his sheets. But my son didn’t let me down, and his sheets have happily stayed dry every night since.

But there was one little thing that I didn’t take into account independence-wise. Even though he was regularly using the toilet for both primary and secondary bodily functions, there was still the duty of cleaning up the doodie after he was finished. Yes, I’m talking about wiping. It’s a dirty subject and some  even consider it taboo, but the truth is everybody does it. (Or at least all men, as I’ve been told women don’t poop, but that’s a story for a different day.)

The Little Dude was under the impression that toilet paper is something to use as a way of hiding the evidence, before it’s flushed away. Truth be told, after trying TP on him a few times, I gave up. It never quite did the job it should have. So on one trip to the store, we picked up a packet of Cottonelle Flushable Wipes. I didn’t know such a thing existed. I also didn’t know that regular wipes weren’t flushable, but I learned that the hard way. I theorized that if “baby wipes” had worked on him to that point, why stop just because he was a “big boy” now?   Then I figured if he’s a big boy and he could use wipes, perhaps I should also explore the option, as a bigger boy with bigger, um, needs.

Needless to say, I was thrilled to recently discover an extremely logical system for bathroom cleanliness issues: the Cottonelle Care Routine. Simply put, the CCR says that you should first wipe with dry toilet paper and then have a second level of cleaning with their wet wipes.  It’s like how you wash your car with soap before you go over it a second time with a coat of wax. Doubling up leads to a far shinier end product.  The Cottonelle Care Routine, when executed correctly, also leads to a far shinier end product. And a cleaner feeling.

The truth is that I’ve already been a big Cottonelle fan for many years (I’m partial to the fluffy kind in the purple package), so I was thrilled when they asked me to spread the word about the magic of Cottonelle wipes & their “Let’s Talk Bums” contest. As a true believer in the magic of a clean bum, I want to encourage you to give it a shot, too. And what could make this more fun than a contest where we talk about bathroom activities? (In a clean way, both literally and figuratively.)

So what do you have to do? You’re going to put on your thinking caps and come up with some Haiku, yes Haiku, about how Cottonelle Flushable Wipes and the CCR do things like change the way you think about cleaning yourself, your bathroom habits and other formerly taboo subjects. Let’s keep it clean, but make them funny, witty, clever, punny and full of entendre. You are going to post those Haiku, with the hashtags #LetsTalkBums and #Haiku on Twitter, but you can also share them on Instagram, Facebook and all the other places you already hang out while pretending to check your email at work.

“But Dude, I don’t remember what a Haiku is?”

Here’s a little refresher course to go along with your refresher course (see what I did there?):

At its most simple, a haiku is a 17-syllable poem separated into three lines; the first and third lines comprise five syllables each, and the second has seven. In order to differentiate these lines, you can either add a line space (using your Enter key), or a “/” at the end of lines 1 and 2.

Here’s an example of my first Haiku Tweet:

So what can you win? Well, each week a panel of experts (me and a half dozen other Dudes) will select the best #LetsTalkBums Haiku Tweet and its Tweeter will win a $200 Amazon gift card. Not bad, right?

At the end of the contest, one of the 7 weekly winners will be chosen at random to win the Grand Prize of an all expenses paid trip to the Dad 2.0 Conference in New Orleans January 30-February 1^st, 2014. 

That’s right, airfare, hotel and a conference pass to hang out with some amazing people, and yours truly, can be yours for thinking of 17 clever syllables. Make me and your 10^th grade English teacher proud and Tweet away.

There’s also going to be a Twitter Party on Monday, September 30, 2013 from 8:00-9:00pm EST hosted by the inimitable @whithonea where they’ll be giving away an iPad Mini and some $50 Amazon gift cards. What do you have to lose? Let’s talk bums, and have fun doing so. Full contest rules are at wipingpoetic.com.

Here’s one more Haiku to get you in the mood:

Come join me, get clean / You could go to New Orlean / Everybody Poops

Disclaimer: I was compensated by Kimberly Clark to participate in this campaign, but all opinions are entirely mine, for better or worse. (And yes, I really use Cottonelle products that I pay for.)

I'm a Super MilkMan!

There was a period of time in the early 2000s when I wore black rimmed glasses and people often called me Clark, as in Clark Kent. My black frames and hair, not to mention my chiseled physique, were somehow reminiscent of Dean Cain who played Clark on some TV show I’ve long since forgotten. Though I can’t leap buildings in a single bound, or even three bounds, like the Man of Steel I have finally become another type of superhero: Super MilkMan.

When the great Dudes from Life of Dad asked me to participate in a contest they were hosting for the National Milk Board, I leapt at the opportunity, which is about the only thing I can surpass in a single bound. What’s the grand prize of this contest, you say? Um, just a trip to meet The Rock, yo. You know the badass former pro wrestler who has starred in a ton of shoot 'em up action movies. And as The Tooth Fairy.  He drinks milk, so I have to believe that if I do as well, I will turn out to be as big and buff as him. So I rarely skip a day of enjoying milk with my cereal for breakfast, and the Junior Dudes never miss a chance to snicker at my Milk Mustache.

My biceps are just a tad smaller. Guess I need more milk. 

But seriously, milk is a great source of vitamins, nutrients and protein. I have to admit, I knew about the first two of those, but was surprised to learn that just one glass of milk has 8 grams of protein. That was great news to me, because as the father of a super picky toddler I often struggle finding ways for him to get his protein. But one thing I never have to convince him is to drink his daily glass of milk. I have to believe that his regular consumption, along with inheriting my superhero-esque resemblance, have contributed to his off-the-charts growth every time he goes to the doctor. I bet he can smell what The Rock was cookin’, or at least drinkin’: Milk.

Here’s my entry into the #SuperMilkMan contest. If you don’t already follow me on Instagram, here’s your chance.

For more info, be sure to check out http://thebreakfastproject.com/ and follow @MilkMustache on Twitter. They’re good people.

DISCLAIMER: I was compensated by Life of Dad, LLC to be an entrant in the #SuperMilkMan contest. Unfortunately it was not with a lifetime supply of milk. All opinions expressed are completely my own, for better or worse.

The Junior Dudes' First Movie

For the last few months, Mrs. Dude and I have discussed finally taking our 3.5 year old Little Dude to see his first movie in a theater. But with a newborn around, scheduling has proven tricky and frankly we just never made time. Though he loves movies, watching at home informally encourages him to take extended breaks during movie time. That contributed to my reluctance to take him. After all, taking a family to the movies is not cheap so I’d rather not drop $50 to see half of one.  So when I was invited by Target to go to the Red Carpet Hollywood Premiere of Disney’s Planes with my family, it seemed to be the perfect opportunity.

The Little Dude is an animation aficionado, having seen the Toy Story and Cars movies at least 50 times each. And ever since he first spotted a display of Planes toys at Target a few weeks ago, he’s become obsessed with the characters of a movie he didn’t even know existed.  To ensure he was familiar in advance, the rad crew at Target sent over a box of Planes gear for both Junior Dudes to enjoy before the event:

We headed to Hollywood earlier this week for the premiere at the legendary El Capitan Theater. Just like at the Oscars, which are held across the street, this was a high fashion event, so the Little Dude wore Dusty Crophopper and his brother was dressed in El Chupacabra.

Hollywood Boulevard was blocked off and decorated with the traditional red carpet, albeit with lines like you’d see on an airport’s runway.

Once we entered the Target Landing Zone for the pre-show party, my boys were overwhelmed by the carnival of fun that stood before them.

We surveyed the scene and went booth-to-booth, where the Little Dude got to play aerial-themed games and win awesome prizes from Target’s Planes collection. He went “Fly” Fishing:

Played The Claw game, (which he knew from Toy Story):

And took aim at a Balloon Pop:

There were plenty of snacks and drinks for everyone, including some cool Jamba Juice kids’ drinks and sliders so good that I ate 3. OK, 4. I meant 5. 

The sun was beating down, but luckily there were some cool spots to check out the complete Target Planes collection. I had to literally pry the Little Dude away from there a couple times so he could enjoy more of the party, though he would have been content starting at the scooters, toys, etc. for the duration of the event.

Our 10-month-old Littler Dude was along for the ride and had a great time with a Dusty Crophopper fan that someone handed him on the way in. He clutched it tight for 2 hours, as though it were the law.

Then it was time for the main event. We made our way into the theater, not knowing how either of our boys would sustain for the duration of the 90 minute flick. Once the house lights went down and the 3-D glasses went on, all four of us were quickly caught up in the tale of Dusty Crophopper, an underdog cropduster plane with a big dream of participating in an around the world speed race. If you don’t know much about planes, this would be like someone driving a 1972 Ford Pinto entering the Indy 500. But Dusty is determined and through hard work, and assistance from his neighbor, a retired jet fighter named Skipper, Dusty qualifies for the race. Along the way, he meets planes from around the world, like El Chupacabra, a Mexican plane desperately trying to both win the race and find a mate. El Chu and Dusty help each other while challenging the evil defending champion plane Ripslinger for the world title.

Planes is a light film that will appeal to most kids. Its tagline is “from the world above Cars”, which is explains why the visual styling of the film is strongly resembles both Cars movies.  The premise of Planes also appears to be a hybrid of the two Cars movies, featuring the naïve youngster, the crusty older mentor, and a big race featuring international opponents.

You might be wondering, how the Junior Dudes fared during the film. The Littler Dude sat through about half before needing to go into the lobby to crawl around. His older brother, however, was literally on the edge of his seat for 90 minutes, totally enthralled by the action before him.  Overall, it was a great day. The only issue is that no matter what we take them to see next, they will invariably be looking for the red carpet, games, food and endless toys that made up our wonderful Planes experience.

What's your favorite animated movie? Do you plan to see Planes? 

Thanks to Target for providing an assortment of Planes gear, as well as entrance to the party and screening. All opinions expressed within this post are mine, for better or worse.  I was compensated in kind in exchange for this review. My kids are thrilled. 

         

The Man with 533 Kids

Too often these days, media represents fathers as hopeless schlubs. I won’t get into the countless examples of “Mr. Mom Gone Wrong” that companies have used in advertising campaigns lately, only to be soundly rejected by the active community of dads who know exactly what they’re doing. As far as I know, most men/fathers are not perfect, but I also don’t know many as inept as the ones I see on TV and movies.

Needless to say, I was excited when I learned the premise of the forthcoming DreamWorks film Delivery Man, starring Vince Vaughn. In the film, Vaughn plays an aging underachiever named David Wozniak struggling with job and relationship issues, when suddenly those issues become trivial compared to some shocking news that shows up at his door one day.  In 1994, David was a sperm donor and due to a “mix-up” at the clinic, he became the biological father of 533 kids, who suddenly all want to meet him. (Ironically, David’s love interest is played by Cobie Smulders, one of the stars of TV’s How I Met Your Mother.)

As someone who is well aware I have 2 kids, I can’t fathom what discovering something of this nature would be like. And not surprisingly, neither can David. As a way of accepting this huge unexpected revelation, he sets out to find his children and figure out the best way to interact with them as he processes what has happened.  Along the way, David gets help, support and a lesson in what parenting is really like from his friend, played by Chris Pratt, who has 4 kids and knows how hard it is.

So why am I telling you all this? After all, Delivery Man won’t be released until November. Luckily for me, and you, DreamWorks chose me as one of 533 bloggers to debut their brand spankin’ new trailer for this movie.  So without further ado, here’s Vince Vaughn in Dreamworks' Delivery Man:

What would you do if you discovered you had 533 kids?

DISCLAIMER: Though I was not compensated for this post, I was given advance screening of this trailer. Hopefully I'll get to see the movie, too. Opinions contained in this post are entirely mine, for better or worse.

Pop's Day Contest Winners

Hope you had a great Father's Day weekend. As expected, I spent Sunday at the beach with the family. The weather was perfect and the crowd was minimal, i.e. it was a fantastic day. 

That is until I once again burned the slab of beef ribs I tried to BBQ for dinner. (Side note: does anyone know how to BBQ beef ribs without them turning into charred sticks?). Dinner was followed up with my delicious homemade cookie cake, featuring Mrs. Dude's special frosting made from scratch. 

Yes, I ate most of it. Especially this most appropriate piece: 

And among our beach snacks were PopChips. This week was Salt & Pepper, one of my favorite combinations and quite complementary to our turkey sandwiches. 

But beyond reading about my eating habits, the real reason you're here is to find out who won the big Pop's Day Giveaway.* So without further ado, the big winner of a VIP 6-pack of tickets to the Eat See Hear screening of her choice with seats in PopChips "Fashionably Late" section PLUS a month's supply of PopChips is: @TheBigDebowski

And the 2nd prize of a month's supply of PopChips chips is @whithonea. Not too shabby. 

I will notify both winners via Twitter and they will have 24 hours to get back to me, or else another winner will be chosen.**

Thanks to @PopChipsLA for sponsoring this great contest and everyone who participated!!! 

*Winners were chosen by a random number selector: Mrs. Dude. She had no idea what she was picking, and chose the numbers from ranges I provided, assigned by when comments were left on my original blog post. 

**Even if you didn't win, you can still buy PopChips. They're really good. 

Disclaimer: I was sent enough PopChips to feed Luxembourg in exchange for organizing this contest. And I've eaten a ton of them. All opinions expressed here are entirely mine, for better or worse. 

A Pops' Day Giveaway

Nestled among the holy triumvirate of Dude family gift-giving holidays is a single one when I’m off the hook. Thankfully. This weekend is Fathers’ Day and beyond the blatant commercialism of the holiday, I’m very lucky that I’ll be able to spend the day with my two Junior Dudes and the lovely Mrs. Dude. Last year she made me a giant cookie cake for the occasion and if the Pillsbury bake-off had occurred that day, she surely would have won the blue ribbon. (Yes, I’m campaigning for a repeat.)

Yes, it was amazing. 

The other big thing we did last year to celebrate Fathers’ Day was go to Zuma Beach. Not only is Zuma one of my favorite places any day of the year, but there was perfect weather and I got to spend a perfect day with my wife and then-1.5 children. Mrs. Dude was a trooper, for not only did she not mind lugging to the beach while uncomfortably 6-months pregnant, but she made and packed our whole lunch, as she usually does. Though this should be easy, it can lead to people who want Cheetos, but are forced to eat Funyuns because that’s what was packed. (And yes, I know if I want something specific, I should pack it myself.)

3.5 Dude family members at the beach.
Father's Day, 2012

We won’t have those issues this year, though, because the kind crew at PopChips sent me a slew of their chips to sample. When they offered to send me some samples, I figured it would be a few small bags. They sent me three freakin’ cases containing every flavor they make. No joke. Including an entire case of their brand new Tortilla PopChips, which are like regular tortilla chips but come in better flavors and are healthier for you. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Yes, I was stunned to find this outside my door.

You’re probably wondering what makes them healthier than “regular” chips while asking yourself if it’s just a gimmick that some marketing whiz came up with. No, it’s true. They aren’t fried or baked, which I just learned are not great for you. Instead they’re popped and contain whole grains, which people tell me are much better for you than half-, quarter- or even zero-grain. And they have half the fat of regular tortilla chips, which apparently is both a) a lot and b) a shock to this Dude who usually eats two baskets on his own at most Mexican restaurants. 

What else is good about them? Well, they’re:

·         Gluten-Free: Which is kind of a big deal these days, though I often ask for a side of gluten dipping sauce for my carbs.

·         No preservatives, cholesterol or fake colors: I see enough of that stuff around LA, as it is.

·         Kosher & Vegetarian: And some flavors are even Vegan!

Beyond the four Tortilla Chip flavors that PopChips just rolled out (Nacho Cheese, Ranch, Chili Limon and Salsa), the PopChips crew has a ton of other great non-tortilla flavors, including Katy’s Kettle Corn. Which is a reference to being Katy Perry's favorite chip...and you know how picky she can be.  Better yet, just enjoy them because they taste good. 

So this year, when we go to the beach for Father’s Day, each Dude family member will get their own bag of PopChips. And no one will be saddled with Funyuns against their will.

To commemorate Father’s Day, or Pop’s Day in this case, the rad PopChips people have a great giveaway for two lucky/hungry reader of this old blog.

PopChips is a sponsor of a cool movie series housed in various L.A. locations called Eat See Hear. This series brings the largest outdoor movie screen west of the Mississippi to show some classic flicks like Elf, Stripes & Boogie Nights to watch in full HD picture and audio. And they make it a party with food trucks and live music before the event. But one lucky winner will win 6 passes to the screening of their choice in the PopChips VIP “Fashionably Late” section, which means you don’t have to get there 2 hours early if you don’t want.

What, you want more? How about a month’s supply of PopChips to go along with those tickets?

But what if you don’t live in LA and can’t get to a screening? PopChips is offering a month’s supply to one non-L.A. reader as well. I told you they are rad.

So what do you have to do to enter?

1.       First you must follow @popchipsla and @DudeOfTheHouse on Twitter, if you don’t already.

2.       Second, you must leave a comment on this blog post telling me that you want to enter the contest and if you are able to go to a screening or are only in it for the PopChips.

NOTE: Please leave your Twitter handle in the comment below so I can reach you if you win!

Winners will be chosen at random on Monday, June 17, 2013 Thursday, June 20, 2013  at 12:00pm PST. Winner must reply within 24 hours or else someone else will be the big winner. So stay tuned.

DISCLAIMER: PopChips sent me a ridiculous amount of their ridiculously good chips. In exchange, I am writing this post and hosting this giveaway. Seems fair, right? 

Any opinions expressed in this post are entirely mine, like the fact that my favorite PopChips flavor is Nacho Cheese.

Sowing My Wild Oats

I’m not someone who is big on labels, which is only part of the reason I wouldn’t call myself a metrosexual. I like to look and smell good, but not too good. Given that I live in Los Angeles, I’d hate to intimidate all the movie stars with my debonair style, rugged good looks and emerging pot belly. But when it comes to grooming, I take things a little more seriously. One reason is because I live in a place where there are 300 sunny days a year and I don’t want my face to resemble an old catcher’s mitt as I age.

So I’ve always tried to take care of my skin. I have very sensitive skin on my face and shaving really irritates it, so I always use decent razors, gels and creams to minimize the red bumps, razor burn and general discomfort that shaving imposes on my delicate punim. I’ve always shaved only once or twice per week to alleviate the unpleasantness. Besides, I look studlier with a chinful of stubble. Or at least that’s one excuse for not shaving.  

For the last few years, I’ve used some pricey shaving stuff from Kiehl’s, which is a fancy-ish brand. Mrs. Dude had a friend who worked there and gave me a bunch of samples to try many years ago and I was hooked, except on the price. But the resulting minimized bumps and burn on my freshly de-follicled neck made subsequent purchases worthwhile.

So when I was asked recently to try out Aveeno’s new Men’s Line (which consists of a Face Wash, Shaving Gel and After Shave), I was skeptical if anything could be better than Kiehl’s for my fancy skin. Given my high brand satisfaction, I normally would have just declined the offer, but there was one reason I didn’t: My wife.

Mrs. Dude has long sworn by Aveeno products for her own use and we’ve used Aveeno baby bath stuff for both the Little and Littler Dudes since they were born.  And since all three of them are completely adorable, I figured that maybe I should see if I was missing out on something and try out the Men’s Line.

Aveeno’s big claim to fame is that they use oats in their products, which is supposedly good for cleansing and moisturizing skin. I don’t know about that, but I do know oats taste great in cookies, so I figured it was worth the gamble. Especially since they sent me the products free of charge.

But before I tried the Aveeno line, I tried the Kiehl’s stuff one more time, to have a baseline reading on the inevitable post-shave redness level of my cheeks and neck:

Four days later, to make sure my skin had fully rebooted itself, I busted out the Aveeno Men’s products.

First I washed my face with the Face Wash (duh), then I followed my normal pre-shave routine that includes putting a wet hot washcloth on to loosen up the hairs. I pumped out some of the Shave Gel into my hands and spread it onto my face. It has a scent, which I suppose is “oaty”, but smells kind of like cherries to me. Either way, it’s not nearly as cringe-inducing as the menthol-scented shaving creams I used to use in my teen years.  Who decided menthol was a desirable smell anyway?

As I followed my normal shave routine, I noticed that I could hardly feel the blade against my skin, which is very unusual. Once finished, I noticed that my cheeks felt softer than usual and my neck wasn’t on fire, like it usually is post-shave.

But the real test would be the next day, when I skeptically expected the worst. Shockingly, there was not one bump, bruise or cut. I haven’t had that in a very long time. I checked again the second day after shaving and found the same thing.

Figuring this must be a fluke, I tried shaving 3 more times with the Aveeno products over a couple weeks and these remarkable results held up. I never found even one bump, which had never happened before in my 25 years of shaving. Given that the Aveeno products’ retail cost is about one-third as much as the Kiehl’s stuff, I seriously considered hopping aboard the USS Aveeno. But then inspiration hit me.  If the Aveeno products were so great because of the oats, why couldn’t I just make my own shaving cream (of wheat)? We have plenty of raw oats in the house for cooking, so I figured I could save even more money by doing it myself. So I made a bowl of oatmeal to shave with. Seriously.

And the amazing thing was that it actually worked.

It wasn’t the best shave I’ve ever gotten, but it wasn’t bad. It was, however, the messiest shave I’ve ever had. My sink and t-shirt were covered in oats and that was a bad combo.

The oats worked fine for the cheeks, but not so great around the chin and more sensitive areas, so I decided to switch back to the Aveeno shave gel mid-shave to finish the job off right.

As someone who has worked in sales for a long time I’m not easily sold on new products because of bells and whistles, and I have another blog post coming soon that will prove that, but this Aveeno stuff rocks. The three products’ average cost is about $5.00 each, so I could get the whole set for less than one bottle of the Kiehl’s stuff I had been using. My only complaint about the Aveeno line is that there is no everyday-use facial moisturizer. Or if the After Shave is intended for this purpose, I think it should have SPF15 in it. Otherwise, I’ll need to use two products on my face, and that is just a bit too much for this quasi-metrosexual. I need to keep my street cred somehow.

Disclaimer: Aveeno Men’s provided product samples free of charge and compensated me for this post, but the opinions expressed are completely mine, for better or worse. Also, RIP to the bowlful of oats who gave their lives for the betterment of my skin.