New Year & Six Months

As the beginning of the last year of civilization begins (at least according to the Mayans. And my friend Maya), I guess we have a lot to get through in these next 11+ months. I still haven't even seen Moneyball.

2011 was a very up and down year for me personally, but I guess that's how they all go for most people who aren't George Clooney. As the calendar turns, though, I'd be remiss if I didn't reflect on the last 6 months writing this blog.  What started as a suggestion from my friend Karen has turned into something way beyond anything I ever imagined when I sat down at the computer on July 4th while my son napped. 

I had some random ideas bouncing around the right side of my brain, which I hadn't used much in the last few years. I am thankful for each and every one of you who has taken the time to read my posts, comment on them or share them with friends. I appreciate the emails you send me and Tweets you RT.  Without you, this site would just be me talking to myself. And I already do enough of that as it is. So thank you. 

As many people do this time of year, I've been reflecting on the year that passed. As I've been reviewing Dude of the House, I wanted to spotlight a few of my favorite blog moments from the last 6 months. If you've read these before, check them out again. They get better with age, like a fine wine or Betty White. 

My Favorite Post:    Poo On You  I just think it's pretty funny. Several of you have said the same. 

Most Autobiographical Post:  What a Long Strange Trip It's Been How I got to be where I am today. Wherever that is.

Most Popular Post:  From Deadhead to Elmo Addict Growing up is hard to do. 

Most Commented On Post:   Your Name is What??  People are dumb. 

Most Egoecentric Post: My Mini-me It's true, he looks like me. Check the picture. 

Most Educational Post:  What is a Dude?  If you think you know, you probably don't.

Most Serious Post:  9/11: A New Hope  A shiny silver lining. 

Scariest Post:  Lost at the Zoo  It was a freaky experience and it wasn't even my kid. 

First Post: Independence Day Means I'm Free to Work on This First, but certainly not my best.

Most Disney filled Post: Small World? Yeah Right I'm glad the tickets were free.

I love all of my posts. Even a few lame ones I've ignored since posting. But check them out and leave a comment if you feel like it. And click the ads on the right. Google just might send me a nickel if you do and that will really help pay for pre-school. When the Little Dude turns 34. 


Thank you again for your support. Best wishes for a happy and healthy new year!

Me & the Little Dude

Another Birthday

Today is my birthday. In lieu of gifts, please just send cash*. Birthdays have always been a weird day to me.  Growing up in the Midwest and having a birthday mid-November, as a kid I always associated my birthday with the first snow of the season. Maybe that’s why I hate snow. As for birthdays, my opinion is mixed.   

I always wanted to have a summer birthday so that I could be outside or have a pool party or, best case scenario: a pool party outside unlike the indoor pool party I had one year. Like most Midwesterners we went to a community pool where on any given day you could see little kids force grownups to wait around for hours while a miserable teenager cleaned out the Baby Ruth filled water.  OK, maybe that wouldn’t have been so fun after all.  

Instead of a bathing suit I usually got to bundle up in a sweater, moonboots, scarf, hat, and snow jacket to go to my birthday parties.  By the way, some people might call it a ski jacket but along with my dislike of snow comes an inherent aversion to going really fast down a slippery incline while it’s 14 degrees out. Surprisingly, the potential for broken bones and/or maiming doesn’t entice me much either.

I usually got to celebrate my birthday at an exciting location like the Ground Round. The incredibly exciting attraction at that place was that you could eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor while watching 50-year-old Three Stooges movies. Even as a kid I didn’t think they were funny.

Another local fiesta hot spot was Showbiz Pizza. If you aren’t familiar, Showbiz was where Chuck E. Cheese rejects got shipped for bad behavior. They had those same creepy animatronic creatures who sang while their heads swiveled no more than 45 degrees.  You also got the same crappy pizza as served by Senor E. Cheese. Then again, I don’t think kids under the age of 10 actually realize that any pizza is bad, even if it is literally just a piece of cardboard covered in ketchup and confetti.  At least they had Skee-ball. 

As an adult, birthday celebrations evolve. For several years after college I’d have a birthday dinner with five to twenty-five of my closest friends. You know these types of celebrations.  It usually consists of a bunch of people in an overly loud space with food that takes forever and the honoree somehow ends up stuck at the end of the table. There are overpriced cocktails and at the end of the meal there is major squabbling over the bill depending on which style of “Restaurant Math” is applied.

If you aren’t familiar, there are two primary formulas for calculating a bill when at a restaurant with a  large group.  The one certainty is that both ways irritate the majority of the group the majority of the time. 

The first is “Uneven Division”: this is when you divide the total bill by the number of people at the table.  As a result of this style the people who drink heavily usually come out way ahead of those who arrive late or only eat a salad or entrée.  The second style is “Remedial Adding”: when everyone chips in a certain amount of cash based on what they ate. Somehow this never works out and the pot usually ends up at least 30% short. Even though the bill is self explanatory, someone who ate only a salad ends up paying $50 to compensate for the drunk cheapskates in the group. 

BC was born 9 days before my birthday two years ago so that year my birthday was spent helping him get over the trauma from his Bris the day before. But otherwise for the last several years, I’ve mainly had quiet celebrations with my wife. Since she is a mathematics professional we have very little squabbling over the bill like the annoying situations I described above. On this night, I let her pay.

*= Or if you really want to be my friend, you can “Like” my Facebook or Twitter pages as a gift.  

Thanks for reading The Dude of the House! Tell your friends... 

--JJ aka The Dude of the House

Let’s party like it’s not 11am

I went to a birthday party today where everyone was running around half-naked, the females greatly outnumbered the males and the birthday girl ended up in the ER after the party.  Sounds like a blast, right? No, I wasn't running up and down High Street while visiting my alma mater. Rather, we took BC to the birthday party of one of his older lady friends.  She is turning 3.  

I had a feeling the party would be riotous when we received the invitation, but that was mainly because I knew it started at 9:00am on a Saturday.  Did I mention that it was held 35 miles from where we live?  Oh, I almost forgot the best part: it was a swimming party in an area where summertime temperatures regularly reach into the triple digits.  I know what you’re thinking: lucky guy.

Needless to say, 9:00am was never going to happen.  Even though my wife prepared everything we needed to take last night, the only way we would have been there at 9:00am was if we were kidnapped at 7:30, blindfolded and driven there in an unmarked van.  Promptness is not our strong suit.  There’s a pretty good chance we wouldn’t have made it to the party at 9:00am if it was held in our living room.   

We left the house around 915ish, hoping to make it by 10:00 to catch the second half of the fiesta.  We arrived right on (our) schedule and parked a mile away because there were apparently a half-dozen kid’s parties going on concurrently.  Yahoo! 

We made it inside, got into our pool gear and headed for the water.  When I heard the party was being held at an aquatic center, I figured it meant there was going to be a pool where I could lay on a raft for a little while and relax while BC splashed around a kiddie pool.  Boy was I wrong.  This place had slides of all sizes and some aqua-jungle gym equipment in the middle of water 2-3 feet deep. I almost forgot the best part:  there were these giant water cannons all over the place that sprayed water with enough pressure that they could knock the tattoos off of Lil Wayne’s neck.  And those cannons could be easily manipulated by anyone around them, like the smug 8 year old who soaked me.  He’ll probably think twice next time he considers doing that to an adult, as I had a few choice words for him afterward.  I think this place must have been designed by either professional Martha Stewart, water safety instructors or demented sadists. 

This is (a small) part of the actual Aquatic
Center  that we visited today.

There was some mishap with the birthday girl, her foot and her father.  I’m still not really sure what happened, but some woman came and told us the party was over, the girl was headed to the ER and not to let the door hit us on the way out.  Good times.

On the plus side, they served some pretty good cupcakes and we got to see a few old friends we hadn’t seen in a while.  BC had fun, and that’s really all that mattered.  Oh, and since the party ended at 11am, we got to have lunch at a nearby Five Guys Burgers and Fries, which is easily the best “fast food” burger in Southern California.  Sorry, I’m just not an In’N’Out Burger fan.  Their fries are just not good.

All in all, it was a decent day. I just wish it hadn’t started so early…

Thanks for reading! Your comments are appreciated. 

--JJ aka The Dude of the House

Please check out my previous blog posts: http://dudeofthehouse.blogspot.com/

@DudeOfTheHouse