Another Independence Day Loop Around the Blogosphere

It was a holiday weekend and I had Friday off from work. The zoo kicked things off and the beach wrapped it up. In between came a long day in the pool leading into a night spent watching the summer sky become splatter-painted as we celebrated our nation’s birthday. I’m tired. And busy. And often lately I’ve been tired of feeling so busy.

Zero score and four years ago on Independence Day 2011, I sat down at my laptop and started typing. I only had one son and he loved naps, just as I did the simultaneous several free hours they afforded me every afternoon. I miss those days. Life is different now. Mrs. Dude and I are the proud owners of two sweet and occasionally sour sons who, as of just a few weeks ago, combine to take zero naps on a daily basis. My older son ditched his afternoon delight shortly before his brother was born and in a couple short months, the younger and Littler Dude will turn 3.

A few hours after my first post, July 4, 2011

The calendar seems to turn faster every day, week and month and my two babies have become boys. I miss the babies, but enjoy being able to have a two-way conversation now and again. They both sleep about 11 or 12 hours per night, which seem to go much quicker than the other half-day which often moves s-l-o-w-l-y, even when filled with amazingly fun activities. Also, especially when dinner is about an hour away and 60 minutes feels like 600 thanks to the constant snack requests Mrs. Dude and I field.

We’ve been fortunate to have some incredible experiences as a result of this little blog. Many I’ve shared and countless more I’ve wanted to write about but haven’t quite had the time to finish. I frequently think of the tired movie trope of the wannabe writer longing to publish “The Great American Novel”, but settling for being a teacher, actor or whatever, and I find it oddly parallel to my blogging own writing situation. I wish I published more, I really do, but those afternoon hours my boys once filled with sleep (and I with writing), they now want to use for playing, swimming and silliness which, like naps, are finite activities with a likely expiration date of about 10 years when they become tweens and teens who will want nothing to do with me.

So I brainstorm ideas in the shower, when I have no ability to type and the Great American Blog Post once again eludes me. I have a folder filled with dozens of drafts I haven’t finished, or whose timeliness has passed, and wonder if I’ll ever make the time to post them all. There is funny stuff, sad stuff and random ideas which could go either way. I want to push them out. I need to push them out. The thoughts in my head need to be released, but I have to make the time. And I will. Just after we finish putting this puzzle together, then making dinner, bath and bedtime, laundry, dishes and those precious few ZZZZ’s I so long for.

For better or worse I’m still here four years later, which was inconceivable to me on July 4, 2011, when this all began with a very sleep boy and some random silly thoughts. Please stay tuned for there IS more to come, and thanks for sticking with me through it all. Your eyes on my words mean more than you know. 

The Dude family, 4 Independence Days later

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If you like amazingly fun and silly photography, and why wouldn't you, come follow me on Instagram where I post some of my favorites daily: instagram.com/dudeofthehouse

One Year Down

One year ago today, as people across the land of the free/home of the brave gorged on hot dogs and watched fireworks to celebrate our nation’s birth, I sat with my laptop while my family napped. I had an afternoon full of independence and no road map.

A few days earlier, a friend had suggested that I start a blog to expound on some ideas that had been bouncing around my skull. I didn’t know what I’d write. Frankly, I’d never even read a blog before. But I figured it out and wrote this.

Was it great? Not really. Was it real? Definitely.

Faster than you can say “publish”, I was hooked. I wrote and wrote, wondering if anyone would discover my little page. I had two readers: me and my wife. I figured I had an original idea writing about being a father staying home with a toddler. Then I discovered the other 90,000 “daddy blogs” out there.

I never thought anyone would ever find my page. Especially when I discovered that Googling “Dude of the House” led to page after page of links to stories about the house from The Big Lebowski. I was going to be more alone than the popular football player in a horror movie. 

I didn’t tell anyone what I was doing, partially because I didn’t know what I was doing. I wanted to see if random people would somehow discover me floating on the web. I didn’t want to force friends and family.  Even now, they usually don’t read my stuff anyway. I wanted to get real neutral opinions. Every time I’d get a comment on a post, I felt like the excited waiter from that Chinese restaurant that is always empty every time you pass by, when he finally gets a customer.

It was this post, written at exactly the 6-month marker of my blog, that turned the tide. People related to the loss and utter void of losing a parent. It helped me begin to heal from that tragedy.  Your responses showed me that I was no longer alone here.

Around that same time, I stumbled upon an amazing community of writers at YeahWrite. I don’t remember how I found them, but I wish I did so I could thank whoever led me to this supportive and inspiring collection of writers.  I’ve met great people amidst the friendly competition.

A couple months later, I traveled to Austin where I met even more great writers. And they were almost exclusively all other Dudes. Some veteran bloggers took me under their wings. I learned some tricks of the trade and returned to LA with a renewed inspiration. Since then, my blog’s output has tripled on a monthly basis. So has my number of readers. It feels good.

Dude of the House is far from the biggest blog out there, but it certainly isn’t the smallest anymore either. I wanted to quit many times, but for some reason didn’t. And last week I published my 100^th post, all of which have been read by tens of thousands of people. Like you. 

If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for sticking with me. Thanks for telling your friends. Thanks for your comments and thanks for keeping me going.  Sitting behind a computer is lonely, but I have the best subjects in the world to write about. And soon there will be one more.  I hope you’ll stay tuned and hang out on the bus a little longer with me, my Little Dude, Mrs. Dude and our loyal watchdog. 

If you want to join me for even more fun, come hang with me here: 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheDudeOfTheHouse

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/DudeOfTheHouse

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/dudeofthehouse/

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/1/b/112836745533948085947/

Let's Bee Friends

So, you want to know a little more about what makes this Dude tick? My friend Bruna from the great blog Bees With Honey profiled me recently. Well, I profiled myself actually. She asked me to write a list of 10 fascinating things about myself, but she graciously hosted me on her great weekly feature "Let's Bee Friends". 

Anyway, since I know you are dying to find out 11 truly fascinating things about me (10 just wasn't enough, I'm that interesting),  CLICK HERE.

Be sure to check out Let's Bee Friends every Friday for a great new profile.
Thanks again, Bruna!

Who Likes Chocolate?

On the Jewish holiday Passover, we ask “Why is this night different from all other nights?”.  The question is answered and the evening moves on toward an ultimately very bland meal.  So on this February 15^th, I’ll ask you how your Valentine’s Day was different from all other days? 

My V-Day consisted of a dinner of Kraft Mac and Cheese and an exhausted wife who passed out while I was brushing my teeth.  I can’t blame her, though. Between the flossing, brushing and Listerine the process takes almost an hour.  But I’d rather spend the time doing that, then driving to see my dentist, Dr. Quiverfinger, again.

We did have lunch at one of our favorite restaurants that we rarely get to anymore. Sure, my brother who was visiting from out of town was there.  As was an antsy 2 year old that I had to stop from knocking over the giant gumball machine more than once, but that was all part of the fun. It would have been much less fun if I’d had to spend $500 on gumballs and a new machine.  

Speaking of gumballs, which I’ve never understood the appeal of since the taste wears off before the gum hits your tongue, we are going to try something new today.  Thanks to The Sweet Spot, I am going to host a special giveaway for some lucky readers. 

Do you like chocolate? If not, does someone you live with or know?  In my house, I’m the only one who does and since my pants barely fit anymore, I’m going to share these treats with you. The Sweet Spot donated some fancy chocolate hearts and some fancier shiny metallic pink chocolate orbs that I’m going to find new homes for.  This isn’t the cheap stuff either.  This is super-fancy schmancy chocolate, according to some chocolate experts I know (my tongue and my stomach). 

So what do you have to do to win?  Cash helps.  Just kidding. A new car would be nice.

Actually, the first thing is you must LIKE The Dude of the House on Facebook and/or follow me on Twitter. If you do both, you just increased your chances of winning by having two entries. Pretty easy, huh?

Want a third chance to win? Go to my blog, select a RANDOM blog entry from any month in 2011 (link to all posts is on the top, right margin of each blog page where it says "All the Dude's Posts") and leave a comment about it. Tell me what you thought about it, what you liked or didn’t like.  As part of your comment, tell me that you wish to be entered into the random drawing.

OK, not enough options? Thanks to a reader named Staci's suggestion, whoever refers the most people to my Facebook page also wins. So when you tell your friends to come visit, tell them to say "Herschel Krustofsky sent me" or "XYZ Blog sent me". Fellow bloggers can win too. Because I know they really need the chocolate to come down from all the Red Bull. 

So when do you get your chocolate, because YOU are sure to win? After I reach 1,000 Facebook “Likes” and 1,000 Twitter followers, I’ll choose the winners at random (other than the "most referral" winner). It’s not that hard. If everyone tells a friend or 50, we could get there by dinnertime. Up to you.  Until then, I’m going to finish the half-price Christmas candy I still have around the house. OK, it’s actually from Halloween. I mean Easter.

Thanks and good luck! 

Fine print: Winners must respond within 48 hours of being notified or I will pick new winners. I pick which prize you get. Trust me, they are all good. No whining. 

My First 10K

As I sit here today deciding whether or not to renew my gym membership, you know there’s no way I actually ran a 10K, right? Over the weekend my blog passed 10,000 page views since I launched it last summer. At the time, I was just trying to put some thoughts on paper for the first time in years.  Well, not actual paper. Virtual paper, I guess.  As the folks at Dunder Mifflin know, no one really needs real paper anymore.  

Why I do everything I do.

On July 4^th 2011, it all started with: "Independence Day means I'm free to work on this!".  I felt a rush of inspiration, like Angelina Jolie watching Slumdog Millionaire.  Since I have two wonderful subjects to write about: my wife and son, I sat down and started writing. It felt great to be creative again.  I figured that I could write whatever I wanted, assuming that no one would ever see it. And I’m glad I was wrong about the latter. 

I’ve met some great bloggers who’ve guided me along the way.  And I’ve been fortunate to find some loyal readers for my little page. Or I guess you’ve found me. How did you discover me anyway?  

As my life has evolved so have my posts.  I know they aren’t all great, but then again neither is every episode of The Simpsons and that’s been on TV for 20 years.  I put everything I have into each post and am thrilled to receive your comments and feedback.

My posts seem to strike a nerve every so often. My recent post “The Last First” became my all-time 2^nd most viewed post within two weeks of publishing. That’s pretty great. It also helped me win my first award. Check it out:  

If you have any ideas for future blog posts, or anything else you want to talk about please feel free to leave a comment below.  One of my favorite posts:  "What is a Dude?" spawned from a conversation with one of my readers.

To those of you who Like and Follow me on Facebook and Twitter: Thank you for wasting your time at work with me. I can’t think of anything better for you to do between 9 and 5. I'm sure your boss can’t either.   (If you don’t Like/Follow me, what are you waiting for? Here’s a personal invitation.)

When I started this blog I had absolutely no expectations of anyone even finding it on the web.  And now, I’m thrilled that you have -- over TEN THOUSAND times --  and hope you’ll hang out for a while.  And if you want to bring a few friends to the party, I’ll buy the next round. 

Thanks for helping me hit 10,000!

-- Jay aka The Dude of the House

What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

“Sure don’t know what I’m going for, but I’m gonna go for it for sure.” — John Perry Barlow

Twelve years ago this week I arrived in sunny Los Angeles after a nearly month-long journey across America.  When I left my native state, the Heartland of it All, I didn’t have a job, an apartment, a spouse, a kid or a pet. I was a free agent and planning to maximize that freedom. After all, my clearly well thought out plan was to crash on my brother’s futon for a while, get a job writing jokes for a late night talk show and improvise the rest from there. 

Keep in mind that when I say my plan was “well thought out”, it was actually wild speculation from a somewhat presumptuous 23 year old.  I figured that since I had just received my degree in broadcast journalism, worked as a producer at the local PBS station while in college and, most importantly, took two years of Media Production classes in high school. I really believed that qualified me for a gig on a network show.  Seriously.  I had no clue.

Don’t worry, reality kicked in before long. And when I say reality, I mean that I was able to get a job on one of the very first reality television shows, “Blind Date”.  If you don’t remember it, Blind Date was a show that sent two unassuming strangers on a date filled with bizarre activities and tried to see if they could find their perfect match. Another way of looking at it was that it took two wannabe actors or models or oddballs and sent them all around LA, hoping that they would ultimately get drunk and end up in a hot tub. As the date played out on screen, jokes making fun of the two suckers, I mean daters, would pop-up around them.  That was the best part of the show.  And I got to watch that magic happen every day.  

Working on Blind Date was a great experience. I got to work on a relatively big scale production, I met some good friends that I am still close with to this day and got my creative juices flowing to help me with my writing career. Turns out, you need a little more experience than I had to get a job on one of the shows I wanted to work on. I figured that within 6 months or a year I’d be on my way.  Boy, was I wrong!

As a 23 year old living in L.A., I quickly discovered that there was a lot more to do in my free time than there had been in Ohio. My focus shifted and my creativity dried up.  After more than a year on Blind Date, I left the wonderful world of TV to “get a real job”. By normal, I mean one that offered weird things that Blind Date didn’t such as health insurance, vacation time and other staples of normal jobs. 


I got a job in Human Resources at a major movie studio which was only palatable because of a couple hilarious co-workers and the free movie screenings.  As part of my HR duties, I got to lead the new hire orientation every week and as a result, I got to meet all the new ladies on their first day of work. I suppose there was a few guys, too, but I didn’t really pay attention.  After more than a year, that job ended and I was thankful. It had been miserable. HR was clearly not my calling. The lack of creativity involved was both surprising and not surprising at all.  I knew it within the first couple of hours working there. At least I collected lots of free VHS tapes of movies. Those must be worth a lot now…  

Since that gig, I’ve worked in sales and marketing in a variety of capacities, mostly as an independent contractor. I’ve sold successful lines of clothing into some of the biggest chains in the country and I’ve struck out while trying to sell video services to people who didn’t want them, and those are just a couple. I’ve learned something from all of these jobs: the good, the bad and the ugly.  I’ve learned what I like: independence, and what I don’t like: not making money. I guess there are trade-offs everywhere.

I’ve also started a couple of my own small businesses and run with those through the ups and downs of our crazy economy the last few years. Then something changed for me just about two years ago. My wife got pregnant. A whole new feeling of responsibility hit me.  I had to find a job and fast! We needed better health insurance that didn’t cost more than John Goodman’s weekly McDonald’s allowance. I tried reaching out to the people I knew, but that was tough as I didn’t really know anyone anymore. Sure, I had friends but they were mostly professionals and I didn’t think I could score a gig as a doctor or lawyer without at least a couple weeks of training.  Most of my jobs had been pretty independent, so there was no one to reach out to there, either. Basically, I was screwed.  

I kept pressing with the biz my wife and I started together but unless we wanted to rely on Top Ramen for every meal
something had to give.  In the meantime, my wife had another side business of her own that took off and so after the baby arrived, I became responsible for him for big chunks of the day while she was gone. After a while I figured that maybe I should start using my creative brain again. I had used it intermittently over the last decade, but nothing too serious had come out of it.  So I started jotting down notes, thoughts and ideas about parenting. In case you don’t know, being a father is quite different from being a mother and not just because of the biological differences. They have inherent skills that men will never have. Like trying to change a kid’s diaper on one of those little fold-down tables they have in public bathrooms. Ever try to wrangle 35 pounds on one of those? Let me tell you, it ain’t pretty.  

And all of that writing, pondering and diaper changing is how I became The Dude of the House. Writing has been cathartic for me in many ways and I’ve got a slew of creative projects I’m working on right now. Ironically, I’m trying to get back into the television world now—just a dozen years later than I expected. If you know anyone who wants to help, let me know…

Thanks for reading! Your comments are appreciated.  Tell your friends...

--JJ aka The Dude of the House

Please check out my previous blog posts: http://dudeofthehouse.blogspot.com/


 
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